google.com, pub-2774194725043577, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0 L.A.Times Crossword Corner

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Apr 1, 2019

Monday April 1, 2019 Jake Braun

Theme: APRIL FOOL (64. Cry for today, and a hint to the starts of 17-, 25-, 37- and 54-Across)
 
17. Unpredictable leg joint problem: TRICK KNEE.

25. Beef named for a bone: RIBEYE STEAK.

37. Sally, to Charlie Brown: KID SISTER.

54. "Love, Simon" co-star: JOSH DUHAMEL.
  
Boomer here. Breaking news!! A heavy accumulation of snow has caused the roof of U.S. Bank stadium to collapse.  The NCAA Final Four has been moved to the new soccer stadium on University Avenue in St. Paul. Many fans are boycotting now because as you know, a bowling center was torn down on the land where the soccer park was built.

Mothers of River City, heed this warning before it's too late.  Watch for the telltale signs of corruption.  Check your sugar bowl for its contents before you scoop two spoonfuls on your cereal.

Across:

1. Half a fluid oz.: TBSP.  Check it first, it could be filled with salt.

5. Ancient Peruvian: INCA.  Dinka Doo  Jimmy Durante.

9. Jalopies: HEAPS.  You call my first car a heap ?  I'll call your Lincoln a dead president.

14. "I'm __ here!": "Adios!": OUT A.  There were few "Outa here" calls at Target Field last weekend.

15. "North by Northwest" actor Grant: CARY. C.C. said he's a favorite of Irish Miss.


16. Grownup: ADULT.

19. Coffee sweetener: SUGAR.  "On a day like today, we'll pass the time away" putting salt in the sugar bowl.

20. Be on the same page: AGREE.  I was never on the same page. Too busy looking at the pictures.

21. Butter square: PAT.  See 19A.  Mr. Pat Boone.

23. Old AT&T rival: MCI.

24. Camera largely replaced by its digital version, for short: SLR. "We have a Nikon Camera, gonna take a photograph.  Mama don't take my Kodachrome away."  Simon and Garfunkel.

30. Golfer's booking: TEE TIME.  Believe it or not, some courses have opened for play in Minnesota.  No carts yet and I still have three weeks of bowling left, so I think I will wait.

32. Diplomatic accord: ENTENTE.

33. Ancient Icelandic text: EDDA.


34. __ McMuffin: EGG.  Be careful today if your spouse tells you it is hard boiled.

36. "The Deep" director Peter: YATES.  From what rumors I have heard about ocean history, I often wonder how much gold bullion is 20,000 leagues under the sea.

41. Poe's one-word bird: RAVEN.  Nevermore

44. Stars are seen in it: SKY.

45. Bars on candy bars, e.g.: Abbr.: UPCS.  These are amazing! You go to the grocery market and the checkout cash register already knows the price of almost everything.  The clerk only had to tell the register the number on the banana sticker.

49. Disparaging word: EPITHET.  I am sure there were a few of them this weekend during the 30 degree windy weather at Target Field.  I watched on TV.  I don't know how many seats are at Target Field but it looked like 50,000 were empty.

52. "Let me say this again ... ": I REPEAT.  Check your sugar bowl!!

56. Lawyer's gp.: ABA.  Don't try to join.  You can get sued.

57. Inventor Whitney: ELI.  I tried some of that cotton gin.  It tastes lousy with tonic.

58. $200 Monopoly props.: RRS. "Railroad crossing look out for the cars.  Can you spell that without any Rs?"  T H A T

59. Fable writer: AESOP.

61. Hooves-on-cobblestone sounds: CLOPS.

67. Lone Ranger's pal: TONTO.  Jay Silverheels.  A very famous Canadian athlete and actor.


68. Con job: SCAM.  Not to be confused with SPAM. A con job by Hormel from Austin Minnesota convincing folks that it's good to eat.  Also half of the email I receive on a daily basis.         

69. Blend by melting: FUSE. Lousy clue. How about a Bussmann product.  Too easy ??

70. Actress Spacek: SISSY.

71. Locking device: HASP.

72. Went really fast: SPED.

Down:

1. How food may be salted: TO TASTE.  Sometimes out of the sugar bowl.

2. Broke into and stole from: BURGLED.  Burgled kind of sounds like you're choking on Pepto Bismol.

3. Mixed with a spoon: STIRRED.  After you put sugar in your coffee.  I hope it wasn't salt.

4. Walk nervously to and fro: PACE.  Also a slow adjective for a golf match or a baseball game.

5. "Eww!": ICK.

6. Indian bread: NAN.  I googled this and found it to be spelled NAAN.  I thought it was the money I left at the Native American Casino last fall.

7. French pancake: CREPE.

8. "Yes, captain": AYE AYE.  I wonder if they really say this on the ship, or only in the movies.

9. Is suffering from, as a cold: HAS. If the cold is pretty bad, then it's "I HAB a Code".

10. College address suffix: EDU.  Never mind if you cannot pass the SAT.  If you have enough money they will pretend you are a great soccer player and let you in. I think you can even pay a smart person to take the tests.

11. Make larger: AUGMENT.  I wish I could augment a few holes on the greens.

12. Appease: PLACATE.

13. Bowling x's: STRIKES.  I won't bother to explain this.

18. "Felicity" star Russell: KERI.

22. Bowling pin count: TEN.  A puzzle with TWO bowling clues??  No I did not rig it.  However can someone tell me why three strikes in a row is called a turkey?  ( I know why a fourbagger is called a hambone.  I don't like it, but I know who Rob Stone is.)


26. Chatted with online, briefly: IM'ED.

27. Pleads: BEGS.

28. Lid inflammation: STYE.  I have heard they are common and painful.  I am lucky to never have had one.

29. Rip to shreds: TEAR UP.

31. Opposite of giveth: TAKETH.  Biblical, but I'll allow.

35. USO show audience: GIS.  Believe it or not, I was in a USO group singing at EM and Top5 clubs at Fort Campbell, KY.  I was bass in "Sherrie" by the Four Seasons.  (Why don't you come out)

38. Broadcast with greater image resolution, as TV shows: IN HD.

39. Fat-free milk: SKIM.  Somehow I never got used to skim.  I prefer 1% - reasonably priced at ALDI

40. Spare in a Brit's boot: TYRE.  I get TYRED of foreign clues and answers.

41. Turns down: REJECTS.

42. Ill-fated 1967 moon mission: APOLLO I.  I remember this well.  A space capsule caught fire with three astronauts inside, and they could not be rescued.  Sad day for space missions.

43. "__ of sugar-plums danced in their heads": Moore: VISIONS.  When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my recliner to see Vhat Da heck vas going on out dere.

46. Green bowlful: PEA SOUP.  Sorry, I cannot eat anything that looks like this.


47. Last train car: CABOOSE. My family had three children.  Barbara, Douglas, and Amy.  When my sister was born, Mom and Dad thought it would be alphabetical to use a name starting with "C".  My father suggested Caboose.  (But mother held out for Constance.)

48. Attached using a Swingline: STAPLED.

50. U.K.'s continent: EUR.

51. Defeat decisively: THRASH.  There was not a lot of Thrashing going on in the NCAA Tournament this weekend.  Most of the games were exciting and close.  I picked Virginia, Gonzaga, Kentucky, and Michigan State.  I was glad to see the Spartans knock off the Blue Devils, because Michigan State represents the Big 10 (+4) and they knocked my Gophers out in Round 2.  Now, if Michigan State wins, I can say the Gophers finished second but had a lousy placement in the bracket. 

53. Airline to Tel Aviv: EL AL. Hope they don't have any Boeing 737 Max planes.

55. Pet adoption org.: ASPCA.  I often wonder where they get the $$$ to buy all those nauseating commercials with half dead dogs in them.

60. Letters before gees: EFFS.  If I spelled it that way I would probably get an "F".

62. Halves of qts.: PTS.

63. Tofu source: SOY.  C.C. really likes this milk substitute.  But it has to be unsweetened, unflavored, and mixed with rum.

65. Dorm VIPs: RAS.

66. Mischief-maker: IMP.

Hope you enjoyed this first day of April, commonly known as April Fool's Day.  In case you did not figure it out, once upon time, many years ago, I filled the sugar bowl on our kitchen table with salt. My dear mother used it as sugar, and "Holy Moley was dreamboat sore". I never pulled that one again.
 
Boomer