Wednesday, Sep 10th, 2025 ~ Alex Stoneman

"PUN-TATHALON"

Body-checking sport for couples~?

TONSIL HOCKEY~!

After extensive online research, I have come to the conclusion that this is Alex Stoneman's debut puzzle anywhere - if I am wrong, I apologize - otherwise, congratulations on your first publication~!  My guess is he's the Alex I find at MIT with a love for crosswords - perhaps he will pop in here for a comment at the Corner.  An enjoyable "pentathalon" of five "sports" that are punny rewordings of non-sport phrases/things.  Three of the five are unique fills, and the other two have appeared one and two other times in other published puzzles.  No circles, a few more names than I would have preferred, one ( I'm looking at you, 36D ) which created a Natick, and a fair spread of 19 3LW and 22 4-letter words with no reveal.  The themers;

17. Boat sport for pilots?: FLIGHT CREW - Not an Apollo flight crew, this "crew" being athletes of the rowing team sport - I like working out on the rowing machine at the gym . . . .

24. Beach sport for the self-absorbed?: EGO SURFING - Surfing is, well, surfing

35. Running sport for academics?: TENURE TRACK - I don't DO running

"Little Chocolate Donuts"

49. Cue sport for children?: KIDDIE POOL - not a "sport" per se, but can be found on ESPN, therefore making billiards, or pool, an "entertainment"

Trick Shots

58. Combat sport for really tired people?: BEAT BOXING - boxing as in sparring, which we frequently see as a crossword clue/answer; I had to check to see if I was in fact, correct about what the "other" meaning is; the maufacture of drums, music, etc., with one's mouth only, like this guy. . . .

Tom Thum - and here's a full clip from TEDTalks

One last sport - the clue: Ice sport for Billy Idol~? - Answer below *

And Away We Go~!


ACROSS:

1. Drink with marshmallows: COCOA - I have been drinking Ryze mushroom coffee for 65 days ( they offer a journal with a quaint question in a text every morning ) and at night I have occasion to drink their mushroom COCOA as well - no marshmallows😜

6. Long-legged birds: EMUs

10. Belt: SWIG - Think shots of liquor

14. "We need to talk": "A WORD..."

15. Mars rover org.: NASA  - Here is me back in 2007(?) at the American Museum of Natural History

That's my step-daughter - for two years - she's 25 now

16. Play charades, e.g.: MIME

19. Reverse: UNDO

20. Negotiation-ending words: NO DEAL - I grew up with "Let's Make A Deal", but never watched "Deal or No Deal" - here is  the "Monty Hall 'problem'"

21. Shady plot: ARBOR

22. Xenon, for one: GAS

27. "Please, I'm on it": "ALLOW ME."- not quite one-to-one phrases, IMO

30. Key hit in panic: ESC - the upper left key of the computer's user interface; I am very familiar with it, as all AutoCAD functions are "released" when it's tapped - not so with Photoshop, which is annoying

31. "Gosh!": "GEE~!"

32. "Bleeding Love" singer Lewis: LEONA - never heard of her; name #1, more here

39. Tactics, in gamerspeak: STRATegy - Meh.  The "R" caused a Natick for me with 36D.; I would have preferred the guitarspeak instead

40. Notre Dame Fighting __: IRISH - a double shout-out to our Cornerite with 22D~!!!

43. Nail salon brand: OPI - gimme, as it's becoming a crossword staple

46. Female sib: SIS - sibling / sister

47. Stressful parts of French class?: ACCENTS - the "tiks" over letters in déjà vu, e.g.

52. Belly: GUT - I missed my weigh-in at the gym last week due to injuring my arm when I was digging up some nasty roots around the pine tree in my front yard, and did this

Ouch.

53. Like Machu Picchu: INCAN

54. Ogres: BRUTES

57. Era: SPAN

62. Merit: EARN

63. Oscar winner Stone: EMMA - name #2, but we've seen her before

64. "Zoom-Zoom" automaker: MAZDA - name(ish) - wow, a bit dated, but yeah

I've driven a 5spd manual Miata - it does go "zoom zoom"~!

65. Small whirlpool: EDDY - name # - oh, wait, never mind....

66. Soccer score: GOAL~!!!!!!!!!

67. Smudge: SMEAR

DOWN:

1. Half-__: coffee spec: CAF - Denis Leary on coffee flavored coffee

NOTE: a few F-bombs

2. One who gives a hoot: OWL

3. Something in need of change?: COIN SLOT - Ah yes, clever

4. Challenging chem course: ORGO - new to me; the "colloquial" term for Organic Chemistry; offered at UCONN, which makes sense, since they are an agricultural institution

5. Ritalin target, for short: ADHD - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - I believe that between TV commercial ads, the Internet and Social Media, staying focused is quite a challenge these days....

6. Confine: ENCAGE

7. "That Girl" star Thomas: MARLO - name #3, sumdaze linked her on Monday; I knew the show, even if  I was born a month after its run ended . . . .

8. Call upon: USE

9. Proverb: SAW - "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step", for example

10. Blue character in a mushroom-shaped house: SMURF

La-LA-lala-la-la - Earworm~!

11. Hit the jackpot: WIN BIG - Powerball was $1.8billion this past Saturday

12. "All finished": "I'M DONE."

13. First president's first name: GEORGE - Wow.  I had to think about this - funny. Name #4

18. Abound (with): TEEM

21. Very old: ARCHAIC - Ah - not ANCIENT; only 3/7ths correct, ~42.85%

22. Miss: GAL - Oh, that Miss - I tried ERR for the 'other' kind of miss

23. Renaissance faire beverage: ALE - Served by the beer we-, uh, "Miss"

25. Solange's "A __ at the Table": SEAT - I had '_EAT', so an "S" made sense

26. KGB country: USSR - Russian espionage "equal" of the USA's CIA

28. Binary digits: ONES - the other digit is "ZEROS" or "ZEROES"

29. Meows at the door, perhaps: WANTS IN

33. Matching group: SET

34. Land unit: ACRE

36. Michael of "Shrinking": URIE - No clue - had to WAG the "R".  Arrr. Name #5 - IMDb

37. Coarse file: RASP

38. Like some beds and candy bars: KING-SIZE - Ah.  Clever - how 'bout both together~?

The candy bar bed linens website

41. "Rugrats" dad: STU - filled via perps - this cartoon, name #6

42. Pres. after FDR: HST - Fraklin Delano Roosevelt; Harry S - OR - S.~? Truman - more here

43. "Ah, it makes sense now": "OK, I SEE." - seeing more of this type of "phrase fill" lately

44. ATM input instrument: PIN PAD  - ATM on the Clue side for a change

45. Proof of legal age, often: ID CARD

47. Like some matters of the heart?: AORTAL - $2 word

48. __ sandwich: CLUB

50. Actor DeVito: DANNY - name #7, liked his "solo" in this video

When The Going Gets Tough - Billy Ocean

51. First president born after 1960: OBAMA - AND - 33A. Younger 51-Down daughter: SASHA - since I do the Down clues first, I had the "father" filled in; names # 8 & 9

55. __ of Maine: personal care brand: TOMS - new to me; the Website - name(ish)

56. Midterm, e.g.: EXAM

58. "I __ to differ": "BEG"

59. My Chemical Romance genre: EMO - I am familiar with the band by name, but not their music - they hail from New Jersey, as do I - the Wiki

60. Secret-protecting doc: NDA - Non-Disclosure Agreement; I need to retain a lawyer so I can move forward with my three board games - I need to protect my concept/design before I attempt to produce and market them

61. Long-jawed fish: GAR - ARR~!  Talk Like a Pirate Day is next Friday~!

*Answer - Lip Curliing~!

Splynter

Wednesday, Sep 3rd, 2025 ~ Michael Torch

 HEAD START

The Running of the Bulls~?  Or maybe this cartoon~?

This is my first time blogging a Michael Torch puzzle; he has two previous ones for the LA Times, the last when he paired up with constructor Kevin Christian back in March.  We have no circles (yay~!), an even distribution of 3-, 4-, 5- and 6-letter words (~17), barely any names, and a mix of both Across and Down Themers with a centered reveal;

18A. *Extracts dirt from the carpet, maybe: STEAM CLEANS - I saw this on the Dan Aykroyd show "The Unbelievable" while on the elliptical at the gym this past Saturday

Crush, TX, 1896

59A. *California's "Eureka" and New York's "Excelsior": STATE MOTTOS - I knew these two mottos, the second because I lived in NY for most of my life😜.  Connecticut's is "Qui Transtulit Sustinet" - the translation here

3D. *Vidal Sassoon's expertise: HAIR STYLING - his Wiki , name #1

26D. *Low-carb sandwich: LETTUCE WRAP - using lettuce instead of bread

Actually looks quite tasty

39A. Leading, or, when parsed differently, what can lead into the starts of the answers to the starred clues: A/HEAD OF - two parsings; Ahead, and a Head - of; steam, state, hair, and lettuce

And Away We Go~!

ACROSS:

1. Fireplace residue: ASH - AND - 44D. Fireplace residue: SOOT - Thank the maker this past August was colder & drier than I expected, so less A/C; I'm looking forward to the fall, football and a cozy fire

4. Laundry basket: HAMPER

10. Spice made from the husk of a nutmeg: MACE - I knew this; CT is nicknamed the "nutmeg" state due to this tale;  The spice is NOT in the defensive spray - that's a brand name of pepper spray

14. Indian beach destination: GOA - Three letters and Indian~? Ektorp = GOA (name #2)

15. Moon mission program: APOLLO - The memorable 11 and 13; makes me think of HuskerG

16. Subject of a chemistry diagram: ATOM

17. Stat boosted by a home run: RBI - Runs Batted In - a clue for our hostess C.C.

20. Countesses' counterparts: EARLS

22. Adds fuel to: STOKES - this reminds me of steam locomotives, too

23. Old Ford flops: EDSELS - haven't seen this crossword staple in a while (name(ish))

25. Resolved out of court: SETTLED

29. Ensnare: TIE UP

31. Bullfighting figure: TORERO - nailed it - they'll need one in the 10K cartoon

32. Vegetarian frozen-food brand: AMY'S - the website

34. Wells Fargo competitor: CITI - financial institutions; I have two credit cards from WF beause they once held my mortgage - now it's with "Mr. Cooper" - not related to my brother's dog

 

Me 'n Cooper are hangin' at the end of this month

37. Feel a sense of belonging: FIT IN - I have always felt like I have never "fit in" - I'm just a weirdo

38. 8 pts. or 4 qts.: GALLon - I started with AMT; I did not see that they were the same measurement

41. First number in many countdowns: TEN - nine - eight - seven . . . .

42. Japanese art genre: ANIME

45. Source of inspiration: MUSE - if there is a muse of "carpentry", then . . . .

46. Overlook: IGNORE - that Muse has been doing this, lately

48. Light purple: LILAC

50. NFLer who plays at the Meadowlands: NY GIANT - as do the long-suffering NY Jets of the NFL as well; the stadium is in the swamps of New Jersey no less

52. Opt for: SELECT

55. Viewpoint: STANCE

58. Home to the Ninja Turtles: SEWER - My screen-name comes not from Splinter, the TMNT rat "sensei", but from putting lumber away sans gloves at Grossman's Lumber many moons ago . . . 

The senior drafter at the Pipe Organ company started at Grossman's as well

63. Light beam: RAY - I blogged that Dan/C.C. puzzle in July

64. Junior staffer: AIDE

65. Online investment service: eTRADE - had some funny Super Bowl baby ads

Riding the dog like a horse is "frowned upon~!"

66. Beast of burden: ASS

67. "Quick, before we're late!": "C'MON~!"

68. Classroom unit: LESSON - AND - 49D. Decrease: LESSEN - I am sort of 'Meh' about this . . . ?

69. Parakeet or rabbit: PET - I have had the rabbit, not the bird

DOWN:

1. Shake hands (on): AGREE

Great Album Cover Art

2. "Just awful!": "SO BAD~!"

4. Pain in the neck: HASSLE - Lately, all my home projects have turned into huge hassles

5. Perfectly suitable: APT

6. "The Simpsons" bar: MOE'S - according to this site, it's a tavern, not a bar; name(ish)

7. Community developer's map: PLAT - its etymology derived from PLOT

8. Ticklish toys that caused a frenzy at Christmas in 1996: ELMOs - name(ish) -  my "generation" was obsessed with Cabbage Patch Kids, because they were oddly cute/ugly and could  be "legally" adopted 

9. "Guardians of the Galaxy" raccoon: ROCKET - I have not actually seen these movies - had to rely on perps; name #3

10. Opera conductors: MAESTRI - I figured it was the Latin plural, and not maestrOS

11. __ loss for words: AT A

12. Swindle: CON - Ooops, not ROB; 33% correct

13. CPR crew: EMS

19. Excuse from work: LET OFF - meh; I think of fireworks being "let off"

21. Luau loops: LEIS - alliteration

24. "I did no __ thing!": "SUCH~!"

27. Native Pennsylvanians: ERIES - This I should have figured out; Organ Supply Industries is located there - I was part of a road trip that visited the factory in ERIE, PA

28. "Death, be not proud" poet John: DONNE - name #4 - learning moment for me; more here

30. Fruit-filled desserts: PIES

32. Another time: AGAIN - not LATER

33. Unkempt: MANGY

35. Eastern philosophical path: TAO

36. Pop sensation: IDOL

39. Use a SodaStream: AERATE - this thing; I left mine back in NY

40. Big name in elevators: OTIS - crossword staple name #5

43. Lick, as an envelope: MOISTEN

45. Like peacocks: MALE - ah.  I was trying to think of a four-letter word for SHOWY

47. Nail polish, e.g.: ENAMEL

51. Govt. investment option: T-NOTE - I, of course, filled in T-BOND; 40% correct

53. Stop: CEASE

54. Romantic rendezvous: TRYST

56. Middles: Abbr.: CTRs

57. Greek vowels: ETAs

59. Cul-de-__: SAC - It's a dead end....

60. "Beetlejuice" director Burton: TIM - name #6

61. Big commotion: ADO

62. Prefix with meter: ODO - Odometer, the "clock" of your car's distance traveled

Splynter

Wednesday, Aug 27th, 2025 ~ Aaron Ullman

 I SAID MINI SPLIT~!

I thought you said SKIRT

We last saw a puzzle from Mr. Ullman here at the LA Times in May 2024.  Today, Aaron gives us four phrases that have MINI, "split" across the fill, three of which are unique.  Yes, we do have circles, but a mere 9 3LWs, thirty 4LWs, some lengthy Down crossings, and just a handful of names.  The themers and the reveal;

17. Traditional social group: FAMILY UNIT

23. Historic hockey game at Lake Placid: MIRACLE ON ICE - the only non-unique themer

The Wiki

36. Dress blues, e.g.: MILITARY UNIFORM

48. Setting for amateur hour: OPEN MIC NIGHT

58. Zoned climate control options, and what this puzzle's circled letters form: MINI-SPLITS - pictured; I have just two window units in my home, and that was all I needed this summer, really - I plan on ultimately installing central air-conditioning, simply because there's a huge attic, enough to install the handler/ evaporator of a "macro" split A/C system and its dispersal lines

And Away We Go~!

ACROSS:

1. Tropical flora: PALMS - I do the Downs first; filled in "GASP" for 1D., so this was "Galms" - Bzzzt~!

6. Site with handcrafted inventory: ETSY

10. Lhasa __: APSO - dog breed, seen on Sunday, too

14. Word after solar or lens: FLARE - Solar Flare, Lens Flare

15. Copy, informally: DUPE - short for DUPlicate

16. Vague reply to an ETA request: SOON - "Are we there yet~?"

19. "__ it ironic?": ISN'T - NOT ironic parts of this Alanis Morrisette song make it "ironic"

20. About 5 mL: TSP - TeaSPoon; there are three TSPs in a TaBleSPoon

21. Prima __: at first sight: FACIE - I learned this legalese term from the TV show Law & Order

22. 1:1, for one: RATIO - 1-2-1-4-1 - clever clue, get it~?

25. "Love is __, love is kind ... ": PATIENT - my first thought was song lyrics; turns out to be a Bible quote, I Corinthians 13:4-8, tho I did find this

28. CEO's aide: ASSistanT 

29. Couple: ITEM - Typically used in "rags" and tabloids - also known as the "Hot Sheets"

Here's a clip of the props used in Men in Black, including the "Hot Sheets"

30. What Diaper Genie filters trap: ODORS - I, sadly, have not had the pleasure/pain of rearing a child from birth, so while I knew the answer, I have not acutally gotten a whiff of what a Diaper Genie "does"

33. Long of "The Best Man Holiday": NIA - name #1 - her IMDb

40. Took a lunch break: ATE - very specific today

41. Genesis: ONSET

42. Overlying: ATOP - I agreed with some comments this past Saturday that "ATOP" is hardly synonymous with "ONTO", and was not thrilled with the clue/answer at all....

"

43. Deer dad: HART - I also agreed with Rusty last Friday about "STAGS" vis-à-vis "BAMBI"

45. Decreases: LESSENS

52. Drop out unexpectedly: FLAKE - Yeah, but Meh.

53. Starr on the skins: RINGO - Ringo Starr, drummer for the Beatles; his son Zak plays, too. Name #2

54. Distracted driving awareness TV spot, e.g.: PSA - Public Service Announcement

57. Plunge: FALL

60. Towel finisher: ETTE - as in 'moist' towelette

61. Dark skies, perhaps: OMEN

62. Alternative to a fidget spinner: POP-IT - A "reusable" bubble-wrap-mimicking toy

63. Encouraging cries: "RAHS~!!!"

64. Maritime hazard: BERG - The speculation about the world's most famous iceberg

65. Calendario starter: ENERO - Espaniol lesson #1; calendar / January

DOWN:

1. Incredulous sound: "PFFT~!" - "yeah, OK, as if~!"

2. "Pity, really": ALAS . . . .

3. Prop in "Aladdin": LAMP - uh, well, yeah, I suppose it would be called a "prop"

4. 3D diagnostic tool: MRI - Magnetic Resonance Imaging

5. Pic taken at arm's length: SELFIE

6. Those responsible for class actions?: EDUCATORS - first of two nine-letter Down fills

7. Viking garment: TUNIC - I wore a tunic for my "Medieval" wedding

Me and my brother, defending the castle from the dreaded serpent

8. Sales pitch: SPIEL - I thought this was Yiddish/Hebrew, but according to the Web, it's from Old German "spielen"

9. To this point: YET

10. "Crazy Rich __": Jon M. Chu rom-com: ASIANS - name(ish) - the IMDb

11. Tacky method of communication?: POST-IT NOTE - Loved this; first of two 10-letter Down fills

12. Video game character who attacks by rolling into a ball: SONIC - ah, yes, now I remember

13. How many ballerinas perform: ON TOE - I am a bit meh about this, only because one of the themers is "ON" as well

18. Michaels purchase, perhaps: YARN - the art store; paint, canvas, paper - I did not think of knitting

22. "Scandal" actress Portia de __: ROSSI - I knew her, but still a name #3 - her Wiki

23. "Bosch" actress Rogers: MIMI - it's too bad this fill showed up in the puzzle, as well, leading from a theme "M" no less; it detracts from the purity of the construction, IMO - and name #4 - Bosch is one of my favorite book series; the Amazon adaptation, not so much, but still good

24. Take home, as pay: EARN

25. Soft, strong cotton: PIMA - filled via perps; not familiar with this

26. Still going: AT IT - watch how you parse this one . . . .

27. Option for long-distance medical consultations: TELE-HEALTH - 10-letter Down fill No.2

31. Easter purchase for 46-Down: DYE - AND - 46. Easter basket items: EGGS

32. Summarizing: OUTLINING - nine-letter downfill No.2

34. Element that makes blood red: IRON

35. Fires (up): AMPS

37. "The Christmas Song" composer Mel: TORME - name #5, but a familiar one

38. Body prefix: ANTI - Ah. I was looking for "endo-", not an actual prefix for 'body'

39. Like Formula One cars: FAST

44. Places for spats: ANKLES

47. "Ye Olde" boutique: SHOPPE - I did happen to like last Saturday's "sign language" clue for this 

48. Many a promotional email: OFFER

49. Silver, in Spanish: PLATA - Espaniol #2; somehow, I had ARGIO....NOT - argyro is Greek for silver

50. Focus of forensics shows: CRIME

51. Brock Purdy, for one: NINER - QB for the NFL's San Fransisco Forty-Niners; just signed a 5yr, $265mil contract - name #6

54. Half-__: skate park element: PIPE - I would not dare to work with this type of PIPE 

55. Use a spoon to homogenize: STIR - that's eight syllables for a four-letter fill....

56. Concerning: AS TO

58. Group of meerkats: MOB - animal groups; we had "parliament" for owls last Thursday

59. Chaney of old films: LON - name #7, but a crossword staple

Splynter

Note from C.C.:

 

Happy Birthday to Lemonade, our faithful Friday Sherpa for many years. Hope all's well in your world, Jason!  

 

Wednesday, Aug 13th, 2025 ~ Kaela Curry & Kevin Curry

ACES HIGH

 
Aces High - Iron Maiden

Kevin and daughter Kaela ( see here ) have teamed up to give us a mirror symmetry, FOURTEEN x 16 grid with horizontal Royalty in the themers, and a vertical Royal Reveal.  Kevin and wife Zhou Zhang paired up here for the LA Times back on July 10.  Because of the odd-sized grid, both 52A. and 57A. are unique fills.  Triple-five corners, 24 3LWs,  ten names, and no circles.  The themers and reveal;

19. Head of a hive: QUEEN BEE

29. Colorful bird with a daggerlike bill: KINGFISHER

52. Milkweed pollinator also called "common tiger": MONARCH BUTTERFLY

More from Wiki

10. With 39-Down, defenders over London, or an apt description of 19-, 29-, and 52-Across?: ROYAL

39. See 10-Down: AIR FORCE - I do the Down clues first, so I 'revealed the reveal' to start

Here's me back in 2006 at MacArthur Airport standing beside a fully functional P-51 Mustang

TWELVE cylinder monster - you felt it take off 

And in case you can't see the above link, here's a PS image of the same page.

And . . . . Happy Left-Hander's Day~!

YO DUDE, that's like, backwards, my man. . . .25A.

Up, Up, And Away We Go~!

ACROSS:

1. Weight-to-height meas.: BMI - Body Mass Index - my trainer has me do a "weigh-in" every two weeks; my fat % went from 40 down to 29.8 over the three months I have been working out - and we're steady holding at 30lbs lost, as well - the next 30 are going to be harder

4. Classic diner order: BLT - Bacon, Lettuce & Tomato, crosswordese

7. Baton Rouge sch.: LSU - Louisiana State University -shoutout~!

10. Big truck: RIG 

13. Go on the __: LAM - A little Blue Öyster Cult for you

I'm on the Lam....but I Ain't No Sheep

14. Slaps after shots: BAR FIGHT - my 8D. was "ENOUGH", so this section was all wrong

17. "I __ you one!": "OWE"

18. Verbal hesitations: UMs....ers, uhs, needed crossings 

20. __ and yang: YIN

21. Site with "gently used" items: eBAY

23. Buyer's incentive: REBATE - AND - 24A. Buyer's incentive: SALE

25. "My man!": "YO DUDE~!"

27. Frequent toddler mishaps: SPILLS

34. Gather: AMASS - we had this Monday

37. Nevada gambling city: RENO - name #1

38. Parting words: CIAOs - a bit meh.

42. "Cool" amount: MILlion - I have not made my first "cool" million - yet.

43. State between the Pacific Ocean and the Snake River: OREGON - name #2

45. Pen filler: INK

46. Announcement after a brief game stoppage: "PLAY ON~!"

49. Big name in hiking backpacks: OSPREY - not clued as the bird to avoid a theme conflict

57. Reluctant whine: "AWW, DO I HAVE TO~?" - cute 12-letter clue/answer

58. Winnie-the-Pooh's creator: MILNE - name #3

60. "Hot To Go!" singer Chappell: ROAN - don't know of her, more here - name #4

61. Join: MERGE

64. Runway worker: MODEL

65. Overly proud: SMUG

66. Implicit: TACIT - two "-cit" words

67. Complicated situation: SNARL

68. Snakelike: EELY

69. End of the Greek alphabet: OMEGA

DOWN:

1. TV dog whose mum and dad are Chilli and Bandit: BLUEY - I wonder who came up with this clue....

And name #5

2. Caribbean dance: MAMBO - I can never remember if it's SAMBA or MAMBO - I was wrong today

Perry Como Papa Loves Mambo from Ocean's Eleven - UH~!

3. [Crying emoji]: I'M SAD  😢

4. Cookout, for short: BBQ - Barbecue - no "Q" in the word, actually 

5. Fashion icon Ralph: LAUREN - name #6, but I have heard of him - he's worth a cool $11.9 Billion

6. Peach or beech: TREE - rhyme time

7. Pride parade inits.: LGBT - the acronym has expanded - more here

8. "OK, OK!": "SHEESH~!" - I tried ENOUGH, then STOP IT 

9. SLC athlete: UTE - the Utes, short for University of Utah sports players, and Salt Lake City

11. Volunteer's response: "I WILL."

12. Parental hand-me-downs: GENES

15. Black History Mo.: FEBruary

16. Two peas __ pod: IN A

22. Hardy-har-hars: YUKs

24. Speaker on an iPad: SIRI - I am PC - and nam(ish)

26. Put down: DIS - as in DISrespect

28. Delt neighbor: PECtorals, muscles of the chest

30. Watchdog's warning: GRR~!!! - argh~!  Not ARF~!

31. Service charge: FEE

32. Gerund suffix: ING - a form derived from a verb that acts like a noun

33. Phillipa of "Hamilton": SOO - name #7

34. Time toggle: AM/PM - nice alliteration in the clue

35. Venus de __: MILO - and now Spinal Tap, with their album, Intravenus De Milo -name #8

Spinal Tap album reviews - here

36. Hawkeye Pierce player on "M*A*S*H": ALAN ALDA - his whole crossword-friendly name ( #9 ) today

40. Law school newbie: ONE L - crossword staple

41. Absolut alternative: SKYY - Vodkas; here's some "JACK" for a Royal Flush 

43. Like audiobooks, once: ON CD

44. Child's punishment, maybe: NO TV - that was my generation; today I am guessing it's "no phone"

47. Snoozefest: YAWNER  - Booooooring~!

48. "Animal Farm" novelist George: ORWELL - Double Plus Ungood - his 'other' novel, name #10

50. Appear that way: SEEM TO

51. Image-cultivating group, informally: PR TEAM - Public Relations - the spin doctors

53. Carriage puller: HORSE - OK I was looking for a "10" horse team for the Royal Flush

Alas, we only have eight . . . .

54. Desert or tundra: BIOME - toyed with CLIME

55. Company for DIY movers: U-HAUL

It does say you can move a 2-3 bedroom house . . . .

56. Like some tartar sauce: TANGY

58. Ruler divs., casually: MMs - not "INs", which I didn't think was correct; not sure why we had the 'casually' in the clue, with 'divs.' already there for the abbr.

59. Non-neutral particle: ION

62. Short-term engagement: GIG

63. "When ru coming?": "ETA~?"

Splynter