Theme: A watch with nothing to watch. Each theme answer is an in-the-language phrase that is repurposed to remove a feature from a timepiece.
20. "Only a fool would want a little calendar on their timepiece!": DROP DEAD DATE. A provision added to a legal or trade act, such as a contract or a court order that sets a last-delay date past which certain consequences will automatically follow, such as cancelling the contract, taking property or entering a judgment. Here, it removes a date indication from the clock face.
26. With 45-Across, "I don't need two silly sticks that rotate on my timepiece!": HANDS OFF THE. 45. See 26-Across: MERCHANDISE. A phrase used to indicate that someone does not want to be touched or - even worse - groped. Haven't heard it in a few decades. Here, it removes the hands from the clock.
37. "Digits on a timepiece? That's ridiculous!": FUDGE THE NUMBERS. A dishonest process of altering data to fit a pre-conceived concept or theory, or for some nefarious purpose. Here, it removes the numbers from the clock face - I think. Not familiar with "FUDGE" used in this way.
55. "Won't happen as long as I'm around," and a summary of 20-, 26-/45-, and 37-Across?: NOT ON MY WATCH. The clue explains it perfectly. Here, all the features indicated in the previous theme answers have been removed from the timepiece, now revealed as a wristwatch. This leaves it featureless and useless.
What time is it?
I don't care!
Hi, Gang, JazzBumpa on hand [unlike the watch in the theme] and rather pressed for time before the Thanksgiving holiday. We're having a crowd at our house tomorrow, so I'm looking forward to eats, drinks, football and merriment. Let's see what interesting tid-bits we can find in this timeless puzzle. Looks like this is Lance's first entry in the L.A. Times. So -- congrats!
Across:
1. Brother in "Am I my brother's keeper?": ABEL. From the story of brotherly non-love in the book of Genesis.
5. Seize: TAKE. Grab suddenly and forcefully.
9. Decides not to go to: SKIPS. Opts out of an event.
14. __ reversal: ROLE. I swapped a crescent roll for an orange scone. No - wait. This is a situation in which someone adopts a role the reverse of that which they normally assume in relation to someone else, who typically assumes their role in exchange.
15. Train travel: RAIL. By Rail, actually.
16. Book review?: AUDIT. Clever clue. An official inspection of an individual's or organization's accounts, typically by an independent body. Just in case somebody fudged the numbers.
17. Egg warmers: MAMA BIRDS. Hens.
19. "Fame" star Cara: IRENE. Irene Cara Escalera (b. 1959) is an American singer and actress. Cara sang and co-wrote the song "Flashdance... What a Feeling" for which she won an Academy Award for Best Original Song and a Grammy Award for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance in 1984. Cara is also known for playing the role of Coco Hernandez in the 1980 film FAME, and for recording the film's title song. Prior to her success with Fame, Cara portrayed the title character Sparkle Williams in the original 1976 musical drama film Sparkle.
5. Seize: TAKE. Grab suddenly and forcefully.
9. Decides not to go to: SKIPS. Opts out of an event.
14. __ reversal: ROLE. I swapped a crescent roll for an orange scone. No - wait. This is a situation in which someone adopts a role the reverse of that which they normally assume in relation to someone else, who typically assumes their role in exchange.
15. Train travel: RAIL. By Rail, actually.
16. Book review?: AUDIT. Clever clue. An official inspection of an individual's or organization's accounts, typically by an independent body. Just in case somebody fudged the numbers.
17. Egg warmers: MAMA BIRDS. Hens.
19. "Fame" star Cara: IRENE. Irene Cara Escalera (b. 1959) is an American singer and actress. Cara sang and co-wrote the song "Flashdance... What a Feeling" for which she won an Academy Award for Best Original Song and a Grammy Award for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance in 1984. Cara is also known for playing the role of Coco Hernandez in the 1980 film FAME, and for recording the film's title song. Prior to her success with Fame, Cara portrayed the title character Sparkle Williams in the original 1976 musical drama film Sparkle.
22. Chase off: SHOO.
24. Golden yrs. fund: IRA. Individual Retirement Account.
25. Twitter titter: LOL. Laughing Out Loud
31. Garage occupant: CAR.
Oops -- wrong CAR
32. Rangers goalie Shesterkin: IGOR. Igor Olegovich Shestyorkin [b. 1985] is a Russian professional ice hockey goaltender for the New York Rangers of the National Hockey League. He was selected by the Rangers in the fourth round, 118th overall, of the 2014 NHL Entry Draft.
33. Veal cordon __: BLEU. Thin slices of veal stuffed with cheese and ham and then sauteed.
42. In years past: ONCE. - upon a time.
43. Stud farm stud: SIRE. The male parent of an animal, especially a stallion or bull kept for breeding.
44. "You __ here": ARE. Signage to indicate your location.
50. Singer DiFranco: ANI. Angela Maria "Ani" DiFranco [b. 1970] is an American-Canadian singer-songwriter. She has released more than 20 albums. DiFranco's music has been classified as folk rock and alternative rock, although it has additional influences from punk, funk, hip hop and jazz.
53. Nice street: RUE. Ha! A street in that French city, irrespective of its nicety.
54. In very sharp resolution: IN HD. Hi Definition.
60. Move effortlessly: GLIDE. Move with a smooth continuous motion, typically with little noise.
61. Keeps safe: LOCKS AWAY. Secures
65. Tangerine coats: RINDS. The tough outer skin of certain fruit, especially citrus fruit.
66. Crumbled froyo topping: OREO. FroYo is premium self-serve frozen yogurt, available in low fat, dairy-free, or no sugar added options. OREO is a brand of sandwich cookie consisting of two chocolate wafers with a sweet creme filling. It was introduced by Nabisco on March 6, 1912,
54. In very sharp resolution: IN HD. Hi Definition.
60. Move effortlessly: GLIDE. Move with a smooth continuous motion, typically with little noise.
61. Keeps safe: LOCKS AWAY. Secures
65. Tangerine coats: RINDS. The tough outer skin of certain fruit, especially citrus fruit.
66. Crumbled froyo topping: OREO. FroYo is premium self-serve frozen yogurt, available in low fat, dairy-free, or no sugar added options. OREO is a brand of sandwich cookie consisting of two chocolate wafers with a sweet creme filling. It was introduced by Nabisco on March 6, 1912,
67. Tardy: LATE. What do you expect, with this watch?!?
68. Baker's supply: YEAST. Yeasts are eukaryotic, single-celled microorganisms classified as members of the fungus kingdom. The first yeast originated hundreds of millions of years ago, and at least 1,500 species are currently recognized. They are estimated to constitute 1% of all described fungal species. Bakers get a rise out of them.
69. Loch __ monster: NESS. The Loch Ness Monster, affectionately known as Nessie, is a creature in Scottish folklore that is said to inhabit Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. It is often described as large, long-necked, and with one or more humps protruding from the water.
70. Former partners: EXES. I have one. Which means I don't have . . . OK, this is confusing.
Down:
1. Upper limb: ARM. A human upper limb, especially the part between the shoulder and the wrist
2. Fluffy scarf: BOA.
3. Tree on the Great Seal of North Dakota: ELM. Elms are deciduous and semi-deciduous trees comprising the flowering plant genus Ulmus in the plant family Ulmaceae.
4. String along: LEAD ON. Mislead or deceive someone, especially into believing that one is in love with or attracted to them.
5. The Schuyler sisters in "Hamilton," e.g.: TRIO. We saw Hamilton on Sunday. It was amazing.
6. 50+ group: AARP. American Association of Retired People. Like me.
7. "The Secret Life of Bees" novelist Sue Monk __: KIDD. Sue Monk Kidd [b. 1948] is an American writer from Sylvester, Georgia best known for her novels The Secret Life of Bees and The Invention of Wings
8. Conditional programming statement: ELSE-IF. Use the else if statement to specify a new condition if the first condition is false. For example: if time is less than 10:00, create a "Good morning" greeting, if not, but time is less than 20:00, create a "Good day" greeting, otherwise a "Good evening". The programed device evidently is a better time keeper than our dysfunctional watch.
9. Anticipated a tongue depressor, perhaps: SAID AH. When opened wide with tongue stuck out, what else can you say?
10. Southeastern Turkey native: KURD. Kurds or Kurdish people are an Iranian ethnic group native to the mountainous region of Kurdistan in Western Asia, which spans southeastern Turkey, northwestern Iran, northern Iraq, and northern Syria. As I understand it, when Winston Churchill invented Iraq with a pen stroke in 1921, he deliberately set the boundaries so that the Kurds would not have a home land.
11. Worth emulating: IDEAL. This scone is a good roll model.
12. __ bean: PINTO. A variety of common bean. In Spanish they are called frijoles pintos, literally "painted bean". It is the most popular bean by crop production in Northern Mexico and the Southwestern United States, and is most often eaten whole, or mashed and then refried.
13. Construction alloy: STEEL. Steel is an alloy made up of iron with typically a few tenths of a percent of carbon to improve its strength and fracture resistance compared to other forms of iron. Many other elements may be present or added. Stainless steels that are corrosion- and oxidation-resistant typically need an additional 11% chromium.
18. "The Prime of Miss Jean __": BRODIE. A novel by Muriel Spark, the best known of her works. It was first published in The New Yorker magazine and was published as a book by Macmillan in 1961. The movie version, starring Maggie Smith, was released in 1969.
21. Fine print, say: ART. Continuing the theme idea of repurposing common phrases, this indicates an item of fine art rather then small print I need a magnifying glass to read.
22. Snowboarder White: SHAUN. Shaun Roger White [b. 1986] is an American former professional snowboarder and skateboarder. He is a five-time Olympian and a three-time Olympic gold medalist in half-pipe snowboarding. He holds the world record for the most X Games gold medals and most Olympic gold medals by a snowboarder.
23. Head of cauliflower?: HARD C. The initial letter of the word is here considered to be the "head." Kind of a meh! clue.
27. Mil. rank: SGT. Sergeant - a noncommissioned officer in the armed forces, in particular (in the US Army or Marine Corps) an NCO ranking above corporal and below staff sergeant, or (in the US Air Force) an NCO ranking above airman and below staff sergeant.
28. "Look at THAT!": OOH. Gee-whiz, golly, gosh!
29. Hot out of the oven: FRESH. Don't burn your fingers.
30. Recede: EBB. Like ocean tide or my hair line.
31. Corp. money manager: CFO. Chief Financial Officer. It's not good news when one is in the news.
34. Boxer's restraint: LEASH. The refers to a type of canine pet, rather than a pugilist.
35. Goofed up: ERRED. Made a mistake.
36. Put into play: USE. Deploy (something) as a means of accomplishing a purpose or achieving a result; employ.
38. Jewel: GEM. A precious or semiprecious stone, especially when cut and polished or engraved. Figuratively, a person or thing of value.
39. Peeples of "The Fosters": NIA. Virenia "Nia" Peeples [b. 1961] is an American R&B and dance music singer and actress. Peeples is known for playing Nicole Chapman on the hit TV series Fame; Pam Fields on the drama Pretty Little Liars; Karen Taylor Winters on The Young and the Restless and Sydney Cooke on Walker, Texas Ranger. Not to mention whatever her role was in The Fosters.
40. Caterer's vessel: URN. For your coffee. Because you deserve it.
41. Combat doctors: MEDICS. Military jargon.
46. Author Hemingway: ERNEST. Ernest Miller Hemingway [1899 - 1961]was an American novelist, short-story writer, and journalist. His economical and understated style—which he termed the iceberg theory—had a strong influence on 20th-century fiction, while his adventurous lifestyle and public image brought him admiration from later generations.
47. Alcohol in a Dark 'n' Stormy: RUM. With ginger beer and lime. Sounds interesting.
48. Sri Lanka, formerly: CEYLON. Officially the Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka, is an island country in South Asia. It lies in the Indian Ocean, southwest of the Bay of Bengal, and southeast of the Arabian Sea; it is separated from the Indian subcontinent by the Gulf of Mannar and the Palk Strait.
49. Breathing exercise direction: INHALE. Breath in.
50. Hopping mad: ANGRY. Furious.
51. "For real!": NO LIE. Not joking.
52. Turner memoir: I TINA. -- My Life Story is a 1986 autobiography by Tina Turner, co-written by MTV news correspondent and music critic Kurt Loder. The book was reissued by Dey Street Books in 2010
56. Sportsbook offering: ODDS. Betting features. That's all I know about it.
57. Became frayed, say: WORE. The past tense of wear. Here it means deteriorating.
58. Top poker cards: ACES. Higher than kings.
59. Ring stats: TKOS. Technical Knock-Outs. A boxing term describing a situation where one boxer is judged the winner after knocking the other down three times.
62. Surfboard application: WAX. Surfboard wax is essential as it gives you a tight grip and creates traction for your feet on your board. The wax also stops you from slipping off when you're paddling out to the waves.
63. Polished off: ATE. Common crosswordese.
64. "Certainly": YES. I agree.
12. __ bean: PINTO. A variety of common bean. In Spanish they are called frijoles pintos, literally "painted bean". It is the most popular bean by crop production in Northern Mexico and the Southwestern United States, and is most often eaten whole, or mashed and then refried.
13. Construction alloy: STEEL. Steel is an alloy made up of iron with typically a few tenths of a percent of carbon to improve its strength and fracture resistance compared to other forms of iron. Many other elements may be present or added. Stainless steels that are corrosion- and oxidation-resistant typically need an additional 11% chromium.
18. "The Prime of Miss Jean __": BRODIE. A novel by Muriel Spark, the best known of her works. It was first published in The New Yorker magazine and was published as a book by Macmillan in 1961. The movie version, starring Maggie Smith, was released in 1969.
21. Fine print, say: ART. Continuing the theme idea of repurposing common phrases, this indicates an item of fine art rather then small print I need a magnifying glass to read.
22. Snowboarder White: SHAUN. Shaun Roger White [b. 1986] is an American former professional snowboarder and skateboarder. He is a five-time Olympian and a three-time Olympic gold medalist in half-pipe snowboarding. He holds the world record for the most X Games gold medals and most Olympic gold medals by a snowboarder.
23. Head of cauliflower?: HARD C. The initial letter of the word is here considered to be the "head." Kind of a meh! clue.
27. Mil. rank: SGT. Sergeant - a noncommissioned officer in the armed forces, in particular (in the US Army or Marine Corps) an NCO ranking above corporal and below staff sergeant, or (in the US Air Force) an NCO ranking above airman and below staff sergeant.
28. "Look at THAT!": OOH. Gee-whiz, golly, gosh!
29. Hot out of the oven: FRESH. Don't burn your fingers.
30. Recede: EBB. Like ocean tide or my hair line.
31. Corp. money manager: CFO. Chief Financial Officer. It's not good news when one is in the news.
34. Boxer's restraint: LEASH. The refers to a type of canine pet, rather than a pugilist.
35. Goofed up: ERRED. Made a mistake.
36. Put into play: USE. Deploy (something) as a means of accomplishing a purpose or achieving a result; employ.
38. Jewel: GEM. A precious or semiprecious stone, especially when cut and polished or engraved. Figuratively, a person or thing of value.
39. Peeples of "The Fosters": NIA. Virenia "Nia" Peeples [b. 1961] is an American R&B and dance music singer and actress. Peeples is known for playing Nicole Chapman on the hit TV series Fame; Pam Fields on the drama Pretty Little Liars; Karen Taylor Winters on The Young and the Restless and Sydney Cooke on Walker, Texas Ranger. Not to mention whatever her role was in The Fosters.
40. Caterer's vessel: URN. For your coffee. Because you deserve it.
41. Combat doctors: MEDICS. Military jargon.
46. Author Hemingway: ERNEST. Ernest Miller Hemingway [1899 - 1961]was an American novelist, short-story writer, and journalist. His economical and understated style—which he termed the iceberg theory—had a strong influence on 20th-century fiction, while his adventurous lifestyle and public image brought him admiration from later generations.
47. Alcohol in a Dark 'n' Stormy: RUM. With ginger beer and lime. Sounds interesting.
48. Sri Lanka, formerly: CEYLON. Officially the Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka, is an island country in South Asia. It lies in the Indian Ocean, southwest of the Bay of Bengal, and southeast of the Arabian Sea; it is separated from the Indian subcontinent by the Gulf of Mannar and the Palk Strait.
49. Breathing exercise direction: INHALE. Breath in.
50. Hopping mad: ANGRY. Furious.
51. "For real!": NO LIE. Not joking.
52. Turner memoir: I TINA. -- My Life Story is a 1986 autobiography by Tina Turner, co-written by MTV news correspondent and music critic Kurt Loder. The book was reissued by Dey Street Books in 2010
56. Sportsbook offering: ODDS. Betting features. That's all I know about it.
57. Became frayed, say: WORE. The past tense of wear. Here it means deteriorating.
58. Top poker cards: ACES. Higher than kings.
59. Ring stats: TKOS. Technical Knock-Outs. A boxing term describing a situation where one boxer is judged the winner after knocking the other down three times.
62. Surfboard application: WAX. Surfboard wax is essential as it gives you a tight grip and creates traction for your feet on your board. The wax also stops you from slipping off when you're paddling out to the waves.
63. Polished off: ATE. Common crosswordese.
64. "Certainly": YES. I agree.
Well, this wraps up another Wednesday, I think. There is no calendar on my watch, so I'm not sure. Nor do I know what time it is. Tomorrow is probably Thanksgiving, so have a great one, don't eat too much, and don't argue politics.
Cool regards!
JzB
