Oct 14, 2013

Monday, October 14, 2013 C.C. Burnikel

Theme: Someone's on our Trail - A TRACK has been tacked on the back of our theme entries.

17A. Long-running musical variety TV show : "SOUL TRAIN". Train track.

25A. Pre-playoffs baseball drama : PENNANT RACE. Race track.

38A. Final triumph after apparent failure : LAST LAUGH. Laugh track.

56A. Offensive in the First Gulf War : DESERT STORM. Storm track.

66A. Retrace one's steps, and what ends of 17-, 25-, 38- and 56-Across can literally have : BACKTRACK

Argyle here and sort of somewhere else. C.C. and I have a puzzle in the NYT today. I'd say this is the tougher of the two. Look at those seven packs in the corners.


1. Actor Damon : MATT. "Good Will Hunting" was his break-out role.

5. Like unfizzy soda : FLAT

9. Relatively cool heavenly body : S STAR

14. Suffix with buck : AROO

15. Grocery section : DELI

16. "All done!" : "THERE!". "Fini!" (Oops, not yet)

19. Hunter's hides : PELTS. More like trapper's pelts.

20. Spiral-shaped __ fries : CURLY. Food.

21. Fair-hiring abbr. : EEO. (Equal Employment Opportunity)

23. Wiesel who said, "Indifference, to me, is the epitome of evil" : ELIE. He is currently an advisor at the Gatestone Institute, a think tank based in New York City.

24. "Just __ suspected!" : AS I

29. Work on, as a vintage auto : RESTORE

31. Sudoku grid line : ROW

32. Honorary legal deg. : LL.D. Legum Doctor, a doctorate-level academic degree in law or an honorary doctorate.

33. '30s-'40s film dog : ASTA

34. Logger's tool : AXE

36. Man and Capri : ISLES

42. Fancy mushroom : MOREL

45. Metric distances: Abbr. : KMs. (kilometre)

46. Roadies' loads : AMPS

50. Prefix with sex : UNI

51. Yale student : ELI

54. Kevin Kline's "French Kiss" co-star : MEG RYAN

59. __-Caps: candy : SNO

60. Bug-killing brand : d-CON

61. Deer daughter : DOE

62. How some stock is sold : AT PAR

64. Sent to the unemployment line : LET GO

69. Key in : ENTER

70. Mine, to Mimi : À MOI

71. Java Freeze brand : ICEE

72. Swiped : STOLE

73. Tree anchor : ROOT

74. Breakfast, e.g. : MEAL


1. Eyelash application : MASCARA

2. Stirs to action : AROUSES

3. One of a vacationing busload : TOURIST

4. Turnpike fee : TOLL (mildly offensive language)

or this LINK if you have just a big blank above.
5. Pres. on a dime : FDR

6. "Glee" actress __ Michele : LEA. (not out in a pasture)

7. Sci-fi invader : ALIEN

8. Karaoke singer's ineptitude, to the chagrin of the audience : TIN EAR

9. Gas additive letters : STP

10. See-through : SHEER

11. Revealing, as a celeb interview : TELL ALL

12. "An" or "the" : ARTICLE

13. Tends to a lawn's bare spot : RESEEDS. one for pk.

18. AutoCorrect target : TYPO

22. John's Yoko : ONO

26. Distinctive periods : ERAs

27. Bagel shop call : "NEXT!"

28. Itty-bitty branch : TWIG

30. Fish story : TALE

35. Moose relative : ELK

37. __-Pei: wrinkly dog : SHAR

39. Angel or Athletic, briefly : ALer. NLer, ALer, these things are here to stay.

40. Rifle range need : AMMO

41. Laptop operator : USER

42. Confuses : MUDDLES

43. Price of bubble gum, once : ONE CENT

44. Trattoria rice dish : RISOTTO. Food.

47. Leader in social networking until 2008 : MY SPACE. Does it still exist?

48. Cure-all : PANACEA

49. Enjoy coral reefs : SNORKEL

52. Inc., in the U.K. : LTD.

53. Meteorologist's pressure line : ISOBAR

55. Future MBA's exam : GMAT. (Trademark. Graduate Management Admissions Test.)

57. Actress Georgia of "Everybody Loves Raymond" : ENGEL. Best known for her role as Georgette on The Mary Tyler Moore Show. On "Everybody Loves Raymond", she is a recurring character: Raymond's brother's wife's mother.

58. Julio's "I love you" : "TE AMO". Spanish

63. Quick haircut : TRIM

65. Profitable rock : ORE

67. Suitor's murmur : COO

68. Model-ship-to-be : KIT


Notes from C.C.:

1) Major surgery on the lower left corner from Rich. Below is my originally submitted grid. As you can see, Rich improved it considerably (he always does). Delicious RISOTTO. I had ROSE TEA there with the tired ANO, ENERO & EYERS. The ELF in 35D was also changed to ELK. Thanks, Rich!

2) As Argyle mentioned earlier, he and I made today's NY Times crossword. You can also read more here at the Xword Info. Argyle succeeded on his very first try with Mr. Shortz. He was also successful on his first try with Rich. Congratulations, Argyle, you rock!


OwenKL said...

Indian scout Iron Horse Jack
Would take hunters out in a pack.
He wouldn't explain
The cause of his name:
The only track he could track was a TRAIN TRACK!

The politically correct gave much flack
To the comic they judged as a hack.
They laughed at his themes
Of in-laws, sex and teams;
But rejected his use of the RACE TRACK!

Canned audience sounds have a knack
To sound like a pre-rehearsed claque.
But real people's noise
So often annoys...
(aaAAH -- CHOO!)
To cut coughing, cough up for a LAUGH TRACK!

Hurricane season is back
The winds that cause ruin and wrack.
But my love life, as well,
Seems destined for hell;
I wish romance had as well-mapped a STORM TRACK!

The doctor, a great chiropract.
Ignored when folks called him a quack.
"Examine the spine,
Its ridge makes a line.
I refer to that path as the BACK TRACK!"

OwenKL said...

[Oops, one of the links was wrong on my first try.]
d-CON is for mice and other rodents. They have nothing against bugs.

Dudley said...

Hello Puzzlers -

Easy Monday undertaking, at least from a solver's perspective - thanks C.C.! Congrats to you and Argyle for the NYT success.

MySpace came and went before I even knew it was there. Much younger friends of mine have voiced suspicion that FaceBook is on the way out as well.

Cheers All

Argyle said...

Do you think Twitter is the new Facebook?

Barry G. said...

Morning, all!

Slept in a bit this morning since I don't have to get my son to school thanks to the holiday.

Smooth solve, although I found it did play a skosh harder than your average Monday. Of course, that's probably because I went with ENGLE and SNORKLE instead of ENGEL and SNORKEL the first time around.

Anybody else been getting strange e-mails lately saying that so-and-so is now using the new and improved MYSPACE? I don't even know/remember who these people are, but years ago I used to have an account there and I wonder whether a similar e-mail is being sent to all my old contacts saying I am now using the new and improved version....

Oh -- and congrats to C.C. and Argyle for their Monday NYT publication!


Middletown Bomber said...

nice puzzle great for a Monday. I have to disagree with Argyle about Matt Damon's break out role being in "Good Will Hunting" This movie was written and directed by him and Affleck. So it is more about his emergence as something more than just an actor. I would argue that his breakout role came 5 years earlier in the movie "School Ties" where he had a major role staring with Brendan Fraiser. or as a lead in the Grisham's "Rain Maker" directed by Francis Ford Coppala which came out a few months before "Good will hunting"

desper-otto said...

Whew, almost stumped on a Monday!

I think I must still be half-asleep. I was buying socks as A PAIR rather than stocks AT PAR. My D-CON started out as RAID. My ALER was an NLER. (There are only two, right?)

I think MOREL mushrooms are "fancy" because they can't be grown commercially. They love to grow near downed trees in the forest. We used to hunt 'em in Iowa and cook 'em in a beer batter. Yum!

Argyle, your Legum Doctor sounds like a master of vegetables. Congrats to you and C.C. on your NYT publication. I'm headed there to try that one next.

desper-otto said...

Well done, you two! We got a double helping of ELK today. One-B ABA (unlike Mari) brought back memories of that old song...
"and the big babboon,
one night in June,
he married them
and very soon
they went upon their
aba dabba honeymoon!"
Does seem a bit arcane fare for a Monday, though.

HeartRx said...

Good morning Argyle, C.C. et al.

Congrats, you two. I always do the NYT after I finish the LAT, and was delighted to see your names - a double helping today. (But I don't feel stuffed...)

This puzzle was just right for Monday - nothing too difficult, and the theme entries were all sparkly. I loved the stacked sevens in all three corners. But is it true that MASCARA really AROUSES TOURIST?

Have a great start of the week, everyone!

Hahtoolah said...

Good morning, Argyle and friends. I over slept this morning and today is not a holiday in Lousiana, so had to scramble to get ready for work.

Fun and quick Monday puzzle. Great job C.C. Now I'll have to check out the one constructed by C.C. And Argyle.

kazie said...

Congrats to C.C. and Argyle for a double dose of CW success today. It must be a thrill to hit them both on the same day, C.C.!

No problems for me today, though I have to admit not even seeing some of the 3-letter clues, as they filled themselves along the way.

Great start to the week, thank you!

thehondohurricane said...

Good day all,

Thanks to CC & Argyle for a nice pleasant start to the week without having to use a lot of brainpower. And congrats to both of you for entertaining the NYT solvers too.

The only questionable fill was the crossing A for 46A Roadies loads & 37D ___-Pei. It was a SWAG.

Husker Gary said...

I searched in vain for the fun theme but had to wait for the reveal. Also, thanks for the inside baseball on the puzzle and congrats to both of you on the double header today . One bright spot on a cold, raw, rainy day in the midst of a STORM TRACK.

-The dancers on SOUL TRAIN were a little more expressive than the ones on American Bandstand
-I’ve had dispensers give me pop that had fizz with no syrup and were FLAT with syrup and no fizz
-Despite some of the staged nonsense, this RESTORE show does amazing things
-Give ‘em a CM and they’ll take a KM
-MASACARA on a DOE-eyed beauty
-Nothing says TOURIST like a fanny pack
-Would you buy STP from this guy?
-How’s this for an AUTO-CORRECT nightmare?
-No really Hudson, there was a time ONE CENT would buy something
-SHAR is the name of the mother who hosted that wedding from hell last Saturday

Husker Gary said...

Quick BACKTRACK story
My friend and I both have GPS golf apps on our phones and we agreed that I was 183 yards away on my second shot last Tuesday. I put my phone on the seat, hit the shot and then drove over to his ball. You guessed it, my phone was gone! We literally backtracked over the trail we thought the cart left but with so much traffic out there and our 67 year old memories, we were not successful. Then it occurred to us to get out his phone and drive to where we were 183 yards away. Bingo, there it was!

Spitzboov said...

Good morning everyone. Congrats to Argyle and C.C. on the NYT submission.

Woke this morning thinking we're due for a C.C. Challenge; and voilà!

Had fun with the corner 7-packs. Had ARTICLE but ENTERed it in the wrong column. (The fonts in our paper really suck.) Rest was uneventful; but I liked the many bright entries. Tried to suss the theme, but had no joy until the unifier BACKTRACK. I agree Rich's major surgery in the SW improved the experience.
TOLL - German Zoll. We get the word (bank) teller from the same ROOT.
BZ to C.C.

Have a great day.

Yellowrocks said...

Congrats, CC and Argyle for a fine puzzle. I will have to get the NYT puzzle today.
PK, I am glad your RESEEDed lawn finally took hold. Ours is also doing well at long last.
LEA was unknown but was filled in easily by the crosses.
D-CON makes many bug killers as well as rodent killers.
I just finished a novel about hunting a tiger. Their PELTS are beautiful, but hunting tigers for medicine and pelts is decimating their population.
I had a poster of a shar-pei in my classroom who looked liked he was pondering. The caption said "Sometimes I sits and thinks and sometimes I just sits." Some days it seemed the class just "sits." Nobody home upstairs.
Link shat-peis .
I have been lurking lately. I was quite busy and following the links and replying used up time i didn't have. I have been enjoying your posts and Owen's limericks.

TTP said...

Good morning all ! Hand up for over sleeping !

DNF today. Was down to the last letter at the intersection of "Mine, to Mimi" and "Julio's, I Love You" and I was certain that the letter was M. But I did not get the TA-DA. Had to turn on red-letter to find out why I did not get the TA-DA. I had an 18D at 13D that also changed 23A from ELIE to ELIs. D'OH ! I was thinking of PK at 18D.

Thank you CC and thank you Argyle. Congrats on your NYT debut Argyle!

Yellowrocks said...

Drat! Here are the shar-peis, I hope.
Link shar-peis

CanadianEh! said...

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving all! I will be stuffed later in the day.

Nice Monday morning puzzle. Hand up for RAID (DCON is not as common here)


No problem with KMS and LTD. We have gotten used to thinking in both metric and US or imperial measures in Canada. Kids are now taught only metric though.

Unfortunately our Canadian dollar is below PAR and we take a hit when visiting.

Abejo said...

Good morning, folks. Thank you, C.C., for a fine puzzle.

Thank you, Argyle, for the fine review.

Well, I did not get Saturday or Sunday done yet. I still hope to. I did not have much time and they were tough.

Congratulations on you NYT puzzle, C.C., and Argyle. Maybe I will buy one and check it out.

There were some difficult spots in today's puzzle. Got through it but it took some head scratching.

Had CLEAR instead of SHEER for a while.

TE AMO was not obvious. DESERT STORM fixed that.

Did not know ICEE. A few perps got it.

Is AMMO an abbreviation?

S STAR was unknown. Got it with crosses.

Never really watched SOUL TRAIN. I remember how it started and that was enough for me.

Off to my day. Lots to do. See you tomorrow.



Abejo said...

OwenKL: I forgot. Nice poem, as always.


Doctorbak said...

An elegant Monday puzzle, thank you C.C. It was a speed run but with fresh fill. Speaking of baseball and the AL, last night was a blast literally. After only one hit in game one and almost nothing in game two, my Sox come back with a game-tying grand slam from Papi and salted the win with a walk-off from Salty. It's all good.

Irish Miss said...

Good Morning:

What better way to start the week than with a CC offering and an Argyle expo, to boot. Thanks to you both for a clever and easy Monday romp. And congrats on the NYT publication.

Great limericks, Owen; I don't know how you can come up with them so quickly.

Happy Thanksgiving, CanadianEh; don't get too "stuffed."

Anyone see The Good Wife last night? Some surprising twists and turns in the story line, IMO.

Happy Columbus Day!

Misty said...

I love a C.C. puzzle on a Monday morning, although this one certainly wasn't a speed run. But how cool to have a C.C./Argyle combo here on the corner this morning, followed by another combo to look forward to at the NY Times site. Congratulations to you both! What a great way to start the week!

Lots of dogs, TV and movie stars, food, and a little foreign language--what's not to like. And a fun theme to boot!

Have a great Monday, everybody!

PK said...

Hi Y'all! A fun speed run on a Mon(day). Thanks, C.C. & Argyle and congrats on the NYT puzzle.

I had a real "Duh moment" with a natick "G" in square 55. I didn't know GMAT & had ME_RYAN which I parsed as MERRY ANn. This gave me a red "R" so I was trying other letters and was annoyed when the puzzle flashed and went dark. I had plugged in the "G" and wasn't savvy enough to realize I finally had the right letter. I didn't get the usual TADA because I'd turned the sound off on an earlier annoying wrestling ad. LOL!

YR, glad you're back. I worried about you.

Gary, I hope some of your rain backs down our way. I'm tired of watering. Last night I was so engrossed with placement of the oscillating sprinkler that I got the top of my head washed. The neighbors across the street had a big laugh.

Bill G. said...

Monday, Monday...

This was a tale of two puzzles for me. I zoomed through most of it but got stuck at several places and needed a lot of crossing letters and changes. Even after reading the reveal, I had difficulty in figuring out the theme.

Driving home last night, there was a big bang inside my door of my 93 Camry and the window wouldn't move any more. I called two independent places I like as well as the local Toyota dealer. The dealer's estimate was $700. One independent place was around $350 and the other around $275. Since they all have done good work for me in the past, it was an easy decision, especially for such an old car that I just use to drive to the bike path.

Lucina said...

Hello, friends and a happy Columbus Day to all.

Agreed, it was an easy Monday solve except for STP where TTP seemed fine to me. Drat DNF!

Congratulations, C.C. and Argyle on your NYT collaboration.

This one was completely doable in one pass though I can see the crossing of TE AMO/ AMOI could be a Natick for some.

LOL! I guess we can also say, TELL ALL ARTICLE

Make it a fantastic Monday, everyone! Happy Thanksgiving, Canadian Eh and all your fellows.

TTP said...


I just heard the song I wanted to link on Oct 4th . Remember David Poole's offering with all of the cross references ? We had



Here's the song and video: Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood

Montana said...

What Irish Miss said about no better way to start a Monday than with CC and Argyle. Congrats on the NYT puzzle, too!

I did not breeze through this puzzle, though. I slowed down and read perp clues along the way. I had to WAG for the letter to fill A_OI and TEA_O cross. M sort of seemed like it might be correct and it was.

CanadianEh! Happy Thanksgiving. During Canadian Days Celebrations, my small community offers ATPAR shopping. When my sons played HS football, we used to trade games with Medicine Hat, AB and everyone loved to shop across the border. Schedules don't fit anymore. We still have a week long Canadian Exchange of students, however.

Have a nice day,


CrossEyedDave said...

Well, this is embarrassing. I came to the blog to see if my WAG at the "G"mat 55D & 54A Natick was correct. (Meg Ryan never occurred to me, I was looking for one name, like marylin.) only to find I totally messed up the NE corner!

"S" star? I had "M" Star! (a fair enough guess given the clue...) Which led me to 9D gas additive = MTB (OK, so it's MTBE, but it sounds the same...)

Which brings me to 19A Hunters Hides = Belts

Well, yes, belts are made from hides... weird clue for that answer, but not wierd enough for me to rewrite the entire corner...

Hmm,, maybe I should have backtracked...

Anonymous T said...

G'Afternoon All:

C.C. delivered another wonderful Monday puzzle and Argyle's write-up linked to one of my favorite Blazing Saddles clips...

I have a few ink-overs (8d was ToNnAl at first and MEG was MEP for PSAT). Both were quick fixes.

Lucina - where you looking at my paper? I had T at 9a for a looong time. But, CC doesn't get the LASTLAUGH.

Owen - I tried a quick quip, but it stinks. Keep up the good work :-)

Argyle @ 6:09. No. Facebook is treading a fine line with privacy issues, but Twitter (not Tweeter investors!) is different.

Off to get the NYT lagniappe and make a copy for MIL.

Cheers, -T

Longtime Lurker said...

Oh, and go away! K?

JJM said...

I have a 15 year-old daughter who hardly ever accesses her FB account anymore. I asked "Why"? Her answer, (and I kid you not), " Way too many old people on FB."

In a way what she was saying to me was once you monetize something "cool" it no longer is "cool", and kids don't want to use it for the simple reason that their parents now use it as well. Makes total sense to me even thought the stock price has tripled this year. Just in case you're wondering the IPO for Twitter is NOV 15.

Steve said...

Congrats, Argyle and C.C!

I thought this was tougher than the average Monday, maybe just me recovering from a fine weekend of food and wine tasting in the Santa Maria valley!

Lucina said...

No,but I could have channeled you. Between AnonymousT and TTP I can't seem to put two Ts together or should I say, separate them.

Lemonade714 said...

Wonderful puzzle and awesome for you both on your NYT publication. When do you all sleep?

Bill G. said...

It's not been a good day around here. I guess I should be happy that all of the troubles seem relatively small compared to some other ones I could have encountered.

I went to the supermarket, walked around the corner at the end of an aisle and there was Mia Hamm. I just smiled and went on since I couldn't think of anything halfway intelligent to say.

Anonymous T said...

Bill G: At least you recognized her. I sat behind DiNiro for two hours not knowing it was him :-)

We had a discussion the other day re: Rex's blog's not-niceness. Here's how folks reacted to CC & Argyle's NYT. Link. I did it, and with the exception of 9a/10&11d it was fun with a bag-o'-chips (though 53 was plural redundant - but acceptable for the fill - trying not to spoil here (Am I closer Owen? :-)).

Kudos to our heros Argyle & C.C for double nice Monday...

Cheers, -T

Chickie said...

Hola Everyone, A bit harder than most Monday offerings, but still doable. I goofed in the SE corner. Sno-caps weren't on my radar, and neither was Icie. I don't think I've ever had an Icie.

With those two unknowns, and Meg Ryan iffy it took me a while before that area filled in.

Other missteps were also mentioned by others today. Risotto--two SS's instead of two tt's but Decon and Let Go corrected that corner. I liked the word Muddles today. I often am muddled with the crossword puzzle of the day.

Hubby's white cell count is going down. We're hopeful that the trend continues. He has two more treatments in this go round. So far so good.

The profitable rock, Ore, must have been struck by C.C. and Argyle today as they had a NY Times puzzle in their Mother Lode.

Have a great rest of the day, everyone.

Chickie said...

Happy Thanksgiving CanadianEh. I hope you have a lovely day with family and friends.

Husker, Glad you found your phone. Good Thinking. Not always a happy ending for lost phones.

A Fridge magnet in my Christmas Stocking reads,"How did Gramma get more Facebook friends than me?"
Grandson humor!! So JJM your daughter probably isn't far off in her assessment of Facebook these days. LOL!

Manac said...

Evening All,
Thought this was a pleasant Monday offering. I also of MTBE for nine down at first. That has tainted a lot of wells round here. I think of oil additive for STP but don't use the product. The SW almost got me, I relate Dcon to rodent control so Raid was tough to give up.

TTP @ 12:02, I have always liked that song but never knew who performed it. Was that Country or Western?
Gotta love a girl that can swing a bat like that! I'd post a pic but I haven't mastered that yet.

Dudley said...

Husker 8:36 - thanks for Winona! I'm not sure which doe-eyed beauty, Winona or Anne Hathaway, I'm more in love with. Probably whichever one calls first.


Steve said...

@Bill G - I would have burbled unintelligibly anyway - she's one of my favorites. I'm also in love with Hope Solo and Megan Rapinoe - I think I'm a US Women's soccer groupie.

@Anonymous T - I talked to Keanu Reeves in a bar for at least half an hour without having a clue who he was. It was only when two girls asked him to sign a bar napkin that I suspected anything at all.

fermatprime said...


Thanks for somewhat chewy Monday offering, CC! Swell expo, Argyle!

I, too had trouble with MEGRYAN.

Yes, things certainly seem to be falling apart on The Good Wife.

Is anybody else watching The Paradise? How sad things were for women in those days.

Bill: Think Masters & Sex is borderline smut. And no one aged in 17 years last night!

Off to try NYT. Congrats Argyle!

Husker Gary said...

-Our rain has passed the two inch mark and continues APACE and is very welcome. I hope you get some PK. Uh, rain, that is ;-)
-Bill and Doc were right yesterday about RETARDING sparks to get older engines to start
-Chickie, It was so windy we would not have heard the ring so returning to the scene 183 yds out was the only thing to do. BTW, I hit my 5 hybrid 12 feet away from the hole and made A(t) PAR. Yeah, if the dang ball had been in the fairway…
-Anne Hathaway would work for me too Dudley. I ain’t waitin’ by the phone
-Walter Cronkite walked by us in Boston but I had a bib on eating lobster by Boston Hahbah and couldn’t think of anything to tell “America’s most trusted man.” How ‘bout “Sup Walt?”
-Happy Canada Day to all Canucks (is that okay to say?). And, oh, can we trade national anthems?
-Off to my downstairs man cave to watch Andrew Luck.

Jayce said...

Argyle, you do rock.

River Doc said...

Happy Monday everybody!

WEES, except I had SHOCK AND AWE at first instead of DESERT STORM (at least it fit the grid!)....

We got a CURLY, but what about Moe and Shemp...?

I watched a lot of SOUL TRAIN and American Bandstand as a teen in a futile attempt to learn dance moves....

An old girlfriend convinced me I just HAD to join the "latest hip thing" in 2003, which was MySpace. What a colossal waste of time, imho. At least I learned a little HTML....

Adios, Cornerites, as I'm ready for some football...!

CanadianEh! said...

Thanks for all the Thanksgiving Day greetings. Happy Columbus Day to you all!

Husker Gary @7:17-I'm not offended at being called a Canuck. (Actually most Canadians aren't offended by much - LOL). Personally I like our anthem but the latest push is to change the line "in all our sons command" to "in all of us command" to make it gender neutral.

Bill G. said...


Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak?  
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Dudley said...

Bill G - That's funny!

Husker - I don't wait by the phone either, but that's because I'm sure Anne and Noni are polite enough to leave voicemail.

Retarded sparks for starting: my 1932 Cletrac tractor had a magneto ignition, common at that time. The magneto had an impulse coupling which had two functions: it retarded the spark for better starting, and caused the magneto to deliver a stronger spark (also for better starting). Since those old tractors were hand cranked for starting, anything that improved the process was welcome.

Magnetos and impulse couplings are decades obsolete for most machinery now, but they are still the norm for gasoline powered aircraft. Surprise!

Lucina said...

Oh, that is hilarious! Why oh why aren't there any comedians like that anymore?

Jay Leno used to tell actual jokes but these days it's all about trashing people, showing videos, and cheap shots. And the one who is replacing him sounds like he has cotton in his mouth. I prefer to read. I hate to sound so negative but funny just isn't funny any more.

PK said...

BillG: Loved those old smart alecks! Thanks for sharing.

HG, It's been raining here off and on since mid-afternoon. Coming down pretty good now. I'm glad. It's the only thing I'm gonna get. LOL!

I turned on my furnace this morning. After half an hour it started making a strange noise like someone put a tennis shoe in the drier. Serviceman showed up. Would the furnace make that noise? You bet not! However, he could hear a strange squeak in one fan motor, so he changed that out. Been fine ever since. Part cost $271 + service call. He thought I might be able to leave it awhile, but I figured it would go out whenever the weather got frigid so I had him change it. I've had to have new furnaces in November twice and waited a few weeks to have them installed. I don't mess around with a minor part.

I told him Congress & the President may think they are important, but I think the HVAC techs, plumbers & electricians are the most important. They would never get kicked off my island.

Anonymous T said...

Bill G: Funny! LA did well tonight over STL. Only another week of us being sworn enemies.

Lucina: I agree humor at someone other than self isn't.

CanadianEh! - I've never met a nasty Canadian. I'm sure there has to be some, but they've never crossed my path. Happy Thanksgiving. Don't fatten up too much, you don't want to be the 1st "tastie"* they take...

VDoc - At least they didn't Twerk on AB or SOULTRAIN.

Cheers, -T
*There was an over-night radio host that called Canadians "Tasties" so the ALIENs intercepting the program whould know to invade Canada 1st. :-o

Bill G. said...

Hey, the Dodgers can hit a little after all! For some reason, that game seemed like a bit more fun for me ...

Lucina, AnonT, Dudley, PK, I agree. That old stuff is really funny. Leno and Letterman's shows are just tired. Neither tells jokes. They just say stuff about odd things or how bad things are and the audience applauds a little. Leno never ends a joke as if he's expecting a laugh. He repeats the end and then often is leading quickly into his next comment as if he's uncertain about the response. Tired. I do like Leno's Jaywalking stuff though. And remember the couple at a Costco gas pump? Craig Furgeson is a very funny guy and Ellen's show has more variety and is more funny and interesting.

Son's Joke:
A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick! Bring me a beer before it starts!”

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.

When he finished it, he said, “Quick! Bring me another beer! It’s gonna start!”

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.

When it was gone, he said, “Quickly! Another beer! It’s gonna start any second!”

“That’s it!” She blows her top. “You jerk! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don’t even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave! Don’t you realise that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?”

The husband sighed, “Oh crap! Its started...”

Anonymous T said...

Bill G:

Funny joke - your son may have a future in comedy. My jokes... DW says, not so much. Oh well - scratch that off...

There are still funny folks on TV, but you have to drift down the dial. Most of the stuff on Comedy Central is crud / smut but Key & Peele, Jon Stewart, & Colbert are really good at their craft IMHO.

Re 43d: I had a paper route as a kid. I'd always stop to visit with Harold at his C-Store for a pop or coffee. One day I noticed:

Penny Candies - 3c ea.

so much for ONECENT sugar-bombs...

Cheers, -T

disappointed said...

... nice clean puzzle, but indifference is far from the epitome of evil. That's a disturbing quote from someone with an otherwise serious agenda.