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May 25, 2013

Saturday, May 25th, 2013, Steven J. St. John

Theme: SJSJ

Words: 70 (missing B,K,Q)

Blocks: 28

  My last SJSJ puzzle was back in January - and today's looked deceptively simple, starting with a 3-letter word, which I got, but then I stared at a wash of white for the longest time; I got a break "spang" in the center with 33A., and it all filled in from there - save ONE letter.  Oh well.  We had crossing 10-letter entries today:

31. Not likely to fall : SURE-FOOTED

8. Intensified : HEIGHTENED

35. Road hog? : GAS-GUZZLER

27. Ponder : PUZZLE OVER - so true~!

O         N         W         A         R         D         ~         !

ACROSS:

1. Bug spray target : ANT - I don't mind ants and spiders; every other insect and arachnid creeps me out

4. Hospital bug : STAPH - I had STREP, and I knew that wasn't quite right

9. They're usually password-protected: Abbr. : ACCTs

14. Where the buck stops? : DOE - I am still looking for the doe that stops me; I don't usually go for blondes, but....mini-story @ 11D.

15. Opening of a memorable walrus song : I AM HE - "I am the Walrus", The Beatles

16. F follower in vintage TV : TROOP - F-Troop, which I watched in re-runs as a kid

 
 
17. Pius XII's successor : JOHN XXIII - listed as "blessed", crossing;  4D. One of five popes, ironically : SIXTUS - #5 1585-90; here's the list of them all

19. Totaled : RAN TO

20. Trailer caution : UNRATED - Motion Picture trailers, that is

21. Breaks down slowly : GNAWS AT - meh, yeah, I guess

23. "Beowulf" translator Heaney : SEAMUS

24. John of "Harold & Kumar" movies : CHO

25. Confused : LOST - ah, not ASEA

26. Firms : TONES - as one's body

27. __ melt : PATTY - not BACON....

29. USPS assignment : RTE - U P S, too; I was out with my buddy Jim tonight - he has a postal route

30. Huff : SNIT

33. Mesa natives : ARIZONANS - I read this as "relatives" first, so I was thinking "BUTTE"

38. Magic power : MOJO - reminds me of Austin Powers - "yeah, baby, yeah~!"

42. Material flaw : RIP - Fabric

43. Laid the groundwork for? : TILED - I did some tiling in the rental apartment at mom's house; I really need to update my blog

44. Didn't quite expect : HOPED

45. God that leaves one smitten : EROS

47. Insurance salesman Ryerson in "Groundhog Day" : NED

48. Stephen King classic : MISERY - Not "CARRIE"

49. In a single effort : AT ONE GO - I had IN one go to start; missed the "in" in the clue

51. Lore components : SAYINGS

52. Capital near the Red Sea : SANA'A - map

53. Celebrity perks : V.I.P. PASSES - makes me think of another music link

55. Employ with vigor : EXERT

56. Dr. Dean __ of talk radio : EDELL

57. Somme one : UNE - Frawnch

58. They might be hitched : RIDES

59. Spur part : ROWEL - new word for me; I had RODEL; see 51D.

60. Humanities dept. : PSYchology

DOWN:

1. Fiddles with : ADJUSTS

2. Situation when the first pitch is thrown : NO ONE ON - Baseball for C.C.; I wanted "opening day", then I stared at NOON -ON for a long time

3. Like many "Argo" militants : TEHRANI - those in Tehran, Iran

5. Mortgage payment component : TAXES - not here on Long Island; the tax bill comes separately twice a year

6. "__ the Falling Snow": Enya song : AMID

7. Golden ratio symbol : PHI - I know what this means, but I have a hard time describing it to others; Wiki does a pretty good job

9. Blade brand : ATRA

10. __ space : CRAWL - NYS cashed my check for filing to be a Home Inspector; going to be seeing my share of crawl spaces soon, I hope

11. Hang out (with) : CONSORT - SO - I was consorting with George, Jim, Bob, Kev, Mark, Jack and Chris tonight, downtown Patchogue....

12. Cookbook phrase : TO TASTE - ...speaking of which, there were some ladies....

13. Laid eyes on : SPOTTED - I "laid eyes" on a cute blonde at the club tonight; reminded me of Taylor Swift....

18. Ice-breaking aid : NAME TAG - ...the blonde did not have one....

22. Over the hill, say : NOT FAR - distance, not age - which is how we felt in the club tonight....

24. Saw your breath while singing, maybe : CAROLED - ...her name could have been Carol....

28. Quaint pointing word : YON - ...YON blonde....

31. Giving a once-over, with "up" : SIZING - and yes, I was sizing her up~!

32. Subtle absorption : OSMOSIS

34. Symbol of tiredness : RUT - I tried ZZZ first, since I considered there may be "ZZ" with SiZing - I was one square off

35. Pompadour sporter : GREASER - This guy?

36. One way to Martha's Vineyard : AIR TAXI

37. Showed affection for, in a way : SPOONED

39. Begins to share : OPENS UP - in a counseling session

40. Maker of Natural Glow lotions : JERGENS - um, don't go there....

 

41. Meandering journey : ODYSSEY

44. Georgian greeting : HI, Y'ALL - I lived in Jacksonville, Fla - they speak Georgian there, too~!

46. Catch : SNARE

48. Butcher block wood : MAPLE - I knew this, made me change my "Carrie"

50. Vittles : EATS

51. Jet : SPEW - Got me; I had SPED first

54. Swear words : I DO

Splynter

48 comments:

Dudley said...

Hello Puzzlers -

I undertook today's puzzle as an insomnia aid. Bad idea! After the first few passes it looked like the proverbial portrait of a white cow in a snowstorm. I couldn't possibly let it get away with that...

Bit by reluctant bit the grid disclosed its secrets. I made a lucky guess of Septus and John Paul I for the popes' names - neither was right, but close enough to get a bite. Tried Think About at 27d, that held things up a bit. Same with MERSA instead of Staph. Eventually got things squared away; last to fall was I Am He from the Beatles, because even though the walrus song is familiar, I don't really like it and certainly can't keep its weird lyrics straight.

Cheers All!

Barry G. said...

Morning, all!

Ouch!

Lots of obscurities today (SEAMUS, JOHN XXIII, EDELL, IAMHE, AMID, SIXTUS, PHI) and even more ultra-tricky cluing (too many to mention) made this a real brain buster for me today. I killed myself in the NW by going with JOHN PAUL I (no, I don't keep up with popes, sorry). The fact that most of the obscurities I mentioned above were all clustered in that same section sealed my fate.

Finally had to look up the ENYA song, which forced me to abandon JOHN PAUL I. That eventually let me make some WAGs and get the job done.

The rest of the puzzle was difficult, but ultimately doable and enjoyable. That one section, however, was just cruel and unusual punishment for a good non-Catholic boy like myself.

[entraaln]

HeartRx said...

Good morning Splynter, C.C. et al.

Man oh man, I throw up my hands in defeat on this one. After getting nowhere in four passes through the clues, I finally googled the Enya song to get a toehold. That made me change strep to STAPH, I remembered SIXTUS (ironic, indeed) and JOHN XXIII. Which made me change 1D from “tinkers” to ADJUSTS.

OK, so now I only had the NE, central, SW and SE that were blank…

I wanted to get to Martha’s Vineyard “by ferry,” not AIR TAXI. In the end, I was missing the second E in EDELL and the W in ROWEL. For the life of me, I could not think of what kind of jet would be SP??. I figured Dudley would enlighten me on some obscure manufacturer of jet engines when I came here.

I’m going to go out in the garden and eat worms now…

thehondohurricane said...

Happy rainy & gloomy Saturday,

This puzzle sucked. Barry mentioned obscurities, I call them WTF's. 19A, 21A, 26A, 49A , 8D & many others ate my lunch. I still don't understand a couple of them, Splynter cleared up one or two .

The only place I had any success at all was the SE corner. I finally resorted to the red letters because I wanted to see the proper fills. I haven't got enough hair left to be scratching the dome as much as I did today.

FTROOP was a favorite in it's day. Always gave me a yuk or two

Marti's going to her garden, I'm going to water our new section of lawn standing in the rain! It will be my 2nd soaking of the day.

desper-otto said...

Oh no -- a dreaded Saturday DNF! I crashed and burned in the same area you did, Splynter. But I thought that little spinny thing on a spur was a ROTEL, so that radio guy became EDILL and to jet was to SPIT. Oh, SPIT!

Interesting that there were 5 popes named SIXTUS. Of course we've got months named after seven, eight, nine and ten, but they're numbered 9, 10, 11 and 12. I guess that's because Julius and Augustus decided they needed to be in there too, and everybody did a dress-right-dress.

Splynter, the ultimate GREASER has to be Bowzer of Sha Na Na. That group was named after the senseless chorus in Get A Job.

Did you notice my avatar? The culprit has been unmasked.

Argyle said...

WES except I knew ROWEL. It was an important clue in some early Western series. Or movie. It proved the bad guy was really a good guy.

Oh, gotta go; I see a nice, juicy nightcrawler.

TTP said...

HI YALL,

Once again, Steven J St John challenges and delights. SPOTTED a few easier answers on the first pass, with 5 fills across and 9 going down. PATTY melt took a nanosecond. I sated my craving for one yesterday.

Knew 5D was TAXES even though it wasn't a component of my mortgage payment for most of the duration of my loan. Neither was insurance. PITI-TI=PI.

Wanted "This vehicle makes wide right turns" at 20A, but accepted UNRATED because it was a better fit.

Thought 2d was pregame. It wasn't. Getting 14A DOE as the buck stopper led to probable ANT proved by ADJUSTS. TONES and SNIT made TEHRANI obvious. NO ONE ON answer is devious.

Second pass STAPH gave me HEIGHTENED which really helped get me out of the CRAWL space; it was anthing but a SUREFOOTED climb.

Loved the clues for EROS and CAROLED.

Was in MISERY in the SE. It didn't help that I repeatedly read magic powDer as the clue for 38A. Had the M and last O. Finally saw MOJO and that J gave me Jergens.

Make me 0-6 this week. Should have sussed the U in SEAMUS. Stupidly didn't correct / cross check my answer for Catch clue. I had SNARl, so my hitched things were RIDls. But the coup de grace was the E and W in SPEW.

2 hrs and 24 minutes. Argh. Have to get to the grocery store. Will read Splynter and all y'all later. Thanks SJSJ.

Java Mama said...

Hello Weekend Warriors! Well, to quote Maxwell Smart, “Missed it by *that* much.” After a good 45 minutes of chipping away, this SJSJ toughie finally did me in at the crossing of ROWEL and SPEW. At least there’s Splynter’s always-entertaining expo as a consolation prize. Really enjoyed the “Rock Star” video link.

For this cradle-Catholic, those Popes’ names actually helped. Hand up for STREP before STAPH. Got a chuckle out of HI Y’ALL for the Georgian Greeting. Always think of CONSORT as a slightly shady way to “hang out with” someone.

Daughter and her family are moving back to town this weekend, and will be staying with us while they hunt for an apartment. It’s been a l-o-n-g time since we’ve had an eight-month old in the house, so I’m off to buy some baby-proofing paraphernalia.

Have a great weekend everyone!

JJM said...

It's funny how sometimes, I can't get anything going, then I red letter one letter and I'm able to fill in the whole puzzle. That's what happened today. Had to red letter the "G" in GAS GUZZLER" and I filled in the rest in no time.

Lots of 60's TV show references this week. Avengers. Mission: Impossible, "F" Troop, etc. What's next.... Burke's Law, Honey West, or T.H.E. Cat

Argyle said...

2-Down: I don't like NO ONE ON because that could be at anytime. I put in NO ONE UP. Makes more sense to me but I'm thinking ceremonial first pitch.

C.C. Burnikel said...

D-Otto,
Smoking gun! Is that a raccoon? Stupid squirrels are ruining my little garden. Thanks for the stylus tip as well.

Spitzboov said...

Good morning all. Good write-up, Splynter, under difficult conditions.

Used more white gunk than usual, but eventually got it all. GREASER was last to fall. Got JOHN XXIII and SIXTUS OK. Also SANA'A. Had gnarls on before GNAWS AT. Had vowel before ROWEL; new word. HEIGHTENED was a lookup but also unlocked most of the rest of the solve. Wondered briefly if ARIZONANS could be something like Anasazi, but PUZZLE OVER clinched it.
SEAMUS and NED were WAGs. Good job, (SJ)².

Cold here; Monday is supposed to be better.

Yellowrocks said...

After a 15 minute solve last Saturday this one took an hour and 15 minutes with one empty cell so DNF. The north central seems to have stumped a few of us. A-ID the snow and IA-HE seemed impossible. I should have run the alphabet. It was a fun challenge.
I love a PATTY melt.
I was looking for Indians on the mesas.
I knew ROWEL. I enjoy westerns, especially by Louis Lamour.
I had mersa before HEIGHTENED supplied the H.
F Troop was my first entry- funny show. When my step kids came to live with us some said it was like F Troop, not so funny then.
I had SEAM and the only Irish name that fit was SEAMUS so that was easy.
Hope you are feeling better, Lucina.

C.C. Burnikel said...

Java Mama,
I always thought "Consort with" means "Have sex with". I must have mixed it up with some other Con* starting word. Now I need to find out.

Steven J. St. John said...

I'm grumpy about 60 Across. I teach in a Psychology Department, and we are definitely not grouped with the Humanities. We are in Social Sciences, and I would think some colleges group Psych with the Natural Sciences. I wonder if any colleges consider Psychology to be a Humanities discipline? (Obviously this wasn't my original clue!)

Yellowrocks said...

Consort can mean associate with. It can have positive, negative, or neutral connotations It is the root of consortium. It can also mean the spouse of, especially royalty, prince consort. That is probably what you were thinking.

LaLaLinda said...

Hi Everyone ~~

Whew! What a workout, Steven J. St. John! I struggled throughout but amazingly was able to finish. This took well over an hour and I, too, stared at lots of white space for quite some time in every section.

There were a number of places where my first thought fit, but proved to me wrong, ie. 'Deep rooted' before SURE FOOTED, 'Air trip', then 'Air tour' before AIR TAXI and 'Top with' before TO TASTE. I was frustrated at first, but then I started to enjoy the challenge ~ thanks, SJSJ!

~ The SW corner gave me the most trouble. I didn't know SANAA and 'They might be hitched' / RIDES took me forever. Great clue!

~ Favorites: 2D - NO ONE ON and 24D - CAROLED.

~ Wonderful write-up, Splynter! I enjoyed your story-telling from 'CONSORT with' to 'SIZING up.' :-)

~ Memorial Day BBQ planned for today at my brother's house had to be postponed. It's rainy, windy and temps are in the 40s! Just a few days ago we were up to 88 degrees. Ah, New England.

Enjoy the long weekend!

PK said...

HI Y'ALL! SJSJ gave me some MISERY, especially in the SE. I LOST my MOJO from yesterday but attacked the puzzle with HOPE, red-letters ablazing and didn't get in a SNIT. 37:16 minutes. WEES about unknowns. Thanks anyway for a good diversion, SJSJ, and the valiant Splynter for 'splainin'.

I just wondered why five popes would choose the name SIXTUS? What kind of a name is that?

My meh vote: "totaled"= RAN TO or as I like to say, RANTO(n).

DO: A coon with a sweet tooth! Looks like a baby.
I wish you could bring the critter cam to my house to discover who is my midnight patrolman. I gave up buying a cam, deciding it would just be one more piece of electronics I couldn't figure out how to run. Whoever it is doesn't seem to be doing harm. Yet. He's been moseying through since Jan.

desper-otto said...

C.C., yes that's a juvenile raccoon. It spent about five minutes atop the shepherd's crook just after midnight last night. She managed to unhook one of the feeders, tilt it so the syrup dribbled out, and drank it. When it stopped dribbling, she let it drop to the ground. I guess I'm going to have to bring the feeders inside at night.

Perhaps one of these words is your CONundrum. When the ruler took his CONsort to the CONjugal bed, he used no CONdom or other form of CONtraception, but she did not CONceive.

C.C. Burnikel said...

Yellowrocks,
Yes indeed. I thought of the consorts those Chinese emperors had. They all had an empress, a few consorts and lots of concubines, as many as 3, 000 (no kidding, even an average guy had had 3 to 4 wives at the time). My grandpa had 2 wives.

D-Otto,
Wittier than the last adulteryhood comment! However, no one ever said to me "Let's consort with sometime."

Irish Miss said...

Good Morning:

After slogging through this brain-buster, I think Steve should be Steven J. Devil John! Fiendish as he is!

The Northeast corner almost did me in but, as usual, the Irish stubbornness prevailed and I FINALLY finished. But, no TADA, so I looked over all my fill and coudn't find any errors, so I turned on the help button and, lo and behold, like Splynter, I had sped/rodel. First DNF in a while.

Anyway, thanks SJSJ for a Saturday stumper and thanks to Splynter for a super write-up.

Linda, we are having the same miserable weather. In fact, it has been raining all week with more to come.

Lucina, hope you feel better.

DO, your "intruder" is cute but still, I'm sure, a nuisance.

Happy Saturday, soggy though it may be.

Misty said...

Well, after all my grouching about Saturday Silkies, this was much tougher than any Silkie. I initially had only SIZING and UNE. Couldn't decide between STREP and STAPH, and had a hunch about SEAMUS but was afraid to put it in. Eventually put in JOHN PAUL and SEPTUS, like Dudley, and of course that messed up the top middle. And on top of everything, there was the simply wrong PSY as a Humanities department. But then I read Steven's explanation, and so all is forgiven on that score. But I still have to say I never thought I'd meet a puzzle tougher than a Silkie--and this was it. But I survived with a huge DNF and will still look forward to other Saturdays. And, always, to Splynter's expo.

Meanwhile, Sallie and Lucina, hope you both feel better and have a good day today.

Enjoy a great weekend, everybody!

Abejo said...

Good morning, folks. thank you, Steven J. St. John, for a swell Saturday puzzle. Thank you, Splynter, for the swell review.

Got started slowly, of course. Got ANT right. Missed on STAPH, had STREP for a while. Missed on ACCTS, had ATMID for a while. Eventually fixed all those.

Wanted JOHN PAUL I, but held off. TAXES gave me JOHN XXIII. Had SEXTUS for 4D, fixed that to SIXTUS.

A few Gimmies through out the puzzle gave me a foothold here and there. EROS, MAPLE, HI YALL, OSMOSIS, JERGENS, PATTY, RTE, and a few more.

GAS GUZZLER was a good one. Needed a few letters before I saw the light.

No problem with TEHRANI once I had a start.

OFF to my day. Finish cutting the grass then work in the garden.

See you tomorrow.

Abejo

(reathpl)

Abejo said...

D-O:

Good shot of the bandit. Good luck.

Abejo

CrossEyedDave said...

Well,,, after missing yesterdays puzzle (just too darn busy) I was eager to sit down with pen & paper for some Saturday puzzlement.

I got Troop/Atra, Ido, & Eros...

That's it!

Never mind understanding the answers, I am still trying to understand the clues! Thank goodness I never got to 2D nooneon, that would have twisted my brain...

Sorry I missed out chiming in on those awful jokes late last night, but I did find a puzzlement this morning that was right up my alley.

pas de chat said...

Pitiful start. Figured I'd try the computer with red letter help.
(Never tried it before)
45 minutes later, after umpteen WAGs, I finished.
T'weren't easy.
I hope "Situation when the first pitch is thrown" was NOT SJSJ's clue.
"No one on" can happen at any point in the game.
And as to yesterday's puzzle....
Conductor: There's a problem at bar 134. Can I hear the aerophones there? LOL
JazzB?

Keith Fowler said...

A DNF because I settled for CONSOUT (whatever that was supposed to mean) instead of CONSORT.

And the rest was fairly nasty too. Although I *thought* I had finished (discounting the failure above), I was taking SANAA on faith, and I was very slow to crack the mid section. That was because I had a hard time bringing myself to accept SIZING as a reasonable response to the "once-over." That gerund seemed inelegant; it just didn't feel right.

But there it was.

john28man said...

I have to admit that Saturdays are beyond me. I can do pretty good if I use red letters and scroll though the letters at right or bottom letters to get a toehold. In this manner, I did it in under 20 minutes.

Bill G. said...

That sure was a struggle; too much so to be fun for me.

CED, awful jokes last night??? They were at least the usual high quality that we've come to expect on the Crossword Corner.

More geography:
a) What are the northern-most, southern-most, eastern-most and western-most points in the entire 50 United States?

b) Solid geometry and geography; What is the probability that three points chosen at random on the surface of the earth (sphere) lie in the same half of the earth? (Not any particular half, just the same half.)

Jerome said...

Steve- In a Wikipedia article Psychology is defined as one of the "Humanities that are also social sciences" Perhaps some colleges take a different view...?
It also wouldn't be the last time Wiki is not quite correct.

Also from Wiki- Sixtus is a Roman name but it's Greek for "polished" and Latinized as Xystus and not to be confused with the Roman Sextus which means "sixth". About as clear as "Who's on first"

Lucina said...

Hello, weekend warriors! Great stuff, Splynter, especially your serial continuations. Thanks.

Well, when I saw Mesa natives I immediately lit into ARIZONANS like that eagle on fish (super video).

Then was amazed at the number of z's that followed and so I PUZZLED OVER cell after cell, was interrupted by two very lengthy phone calls, almost finished, but oh, no, had ROTEL instead of ROWEL, a word I know!

I confidently wrote NO ONE IN until TONES forced a change and TEHRANI made its appearance. Thank you, SJSJ; I would have finished much earlier but for the interruptions noted above.

Thank you, Yellowrocks, Irish Miss and Misty. I feel better today but weakened from being unable to eat much. That will soon change, I'm sure!

I hope you are all enjoying this holiday weekend!

Yellowrocks said...

Jerome, interesting about Sixtus. Thanks.
I can't link on my tablet. Please Google "Has psychology become one of the humanities?" Good article. In my research it varies from college to college whether it is included in the humanities, more no than yes. Some articles say it is a matter methodology. I wish I could show you. We have discussed this here before.

In further research the winds in an orchestra definitely include woodwinds AND brass. Asking the winds to replay a passage would likely exclude only the percussionists.

Aren't those coons resourceful? When we rent a cottage in WV we secure our garbage can in ingenious ways, turn off the lights, and watch the raccoons overcome every obstacle to a good meal.

61Rampy said...

On the one hand, all the squares in my newspaper puzzle are filled in- correctly. On the other hand, it took 2 visits online (one for the Enya song), and a phone call to my 88 yr old mom to get them filled in. Does anyone actually listen to any Enya songs???
My first fill in was F TROOP. Like Lucina, I immediately thought of ARIZONANS. Wanted CARRIE, which led to CEDAR, neither of which were right.
From the time I was a kid, I knew of pope JOHN XXIII, but I wanted POPE JOHN.
Pretty much WEES about other entries.

CrossEyedDave said...

Bill G. @2:27PM

The awful comment was just a tie-in to the video joke I posted @11:57am titled "a puzzlement this morning."

If you had seen it, you would have known it is up to the caliber we expect on the blog....

Sfingi said...

Will there ever be a Pope Sixtus VI? Maybe that will signal Judgement Day. Needs one more 6.

Kind of agree with The Hondo.
One thing for sure, in the 1940's, when govts had to chide people not to be road hogs, they meant people who drove down the middle of the road, thus hogging the whole road, both lanes. Probably many people right off the farm.

Never heard of AIR TAXI, so I'm semi-rural.

Just noticed our statue of Gen. Steuben in Utica has spurs.

@Yellowrocks - Psych is a soft science, kinda floppy like.

@C.C. - Some of my husband's uncles had 2 "wives" and families. Seems awfully expensive, especially when everyone had to have 3 refrigerators. He's Sicilian.

Manac said...

Bill & Dave, I had more Blog Caliber Jokes lined up for last night then...
ARRRGH, I lost power! Couldn't have been an omen.
Try, try again :~)

Steven J. St. John said...

Thanks for the research, Jerome and Yellowrocks. I may have to edit Wikipedia... Actually, I mostly want to make sure everyone knows how I define Psychology... Which tends to be what I do in the first 2 weeks of every course I teach. As my students know (if they get the exam question right), psychology is "the scientific study of behavior and mental processes." I'm actually not sure what a definition of Humanities might be, but I suspect they are fields which rarely rely on the scientific method.

PK said...

C.C., There were times I wished my husband had more than one wife with all that was expected of me on the farm. LOL! I've never been the jealous type, but I don't really think I could have stood another woman in my house. The Chinese history was very interesting.

My power went out the other night too. Nice weather, but a tree in the neighborhood fell down. Two very nice gentlemen used my yard as the best access to the power line in back. This area has a lot of very big old cottonwoods. This is the second time in ten years that one has come down in nice weather and cut our power. One guy was so concerned that he had two big trees removed so they wouldn't wipe out his house, then complained about how hot his house was without the leafy shade barrier. I have some big old maples in my yard that I pray will stay erect.

Bill G. said...

CED, I saw all the jokes last night. Good stuff. (Oops! I just went back to look and yours at 11:57 seems to have disappeared into ether oblivion.

PARIS
IN THE
THE SPRING

Manac promises more blog-quality jokes. I'm like the cat who ate some strong-smelling cheese and lay next to the mousetrap with baited breath.

Manac said...

PK @ 5:33.
You really opened yourself up to some DF comments, but I won't go there.

After all.. I'm a Married Man ;~)

desper-otto said...

PK, erect is good. Even with trees.

Manac said...

Definition of a
Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping.

Guilty!

Bill G. said...

Oh, now I remember about the 'puzzlement.' I knew I had seen it but couldn't remember last night or today. It was a good one too. I feel like such an ass...

Erect trees? Of course. Is that where the expression 'woodie' comes from?

Reverend Ole was the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and Pastor Sven was the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road. I saw them yesterday standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground, that reads: Da End iss Near!
Turn Yourself Aroundt Now! Before It’s Too Late!
As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled, “Leave us alone, you religious nuts!”
From the curve we heard screeching tires and a big splash… Rev. Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks, “Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust say ‘Bridge Out’?”

A young priest was talking to a group of four- and five-year-old boys. He asked them what they know about the Resurrection. One bright five-year-old replied 'If your resurrection lasts more then four hours, you should call your doctor'.

Manac said...

Bill, LMAO on the woodie joke and the others. can't top them tonight so I offer this for last place.

This 60 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her awhile then says, "You look ridiculous, what on earth are you doing?" She says, "I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 60 year-old ass?" She says, "Well, your name never came up."

PK said...

I figured if I used that word, it would get you boys excited even if it was about a tree!

Bill G. said...

Manac and PK, you guys have DF minds, reading all that stuff into my little comment about trees.

BTW, I had never heard the term DF used to mean something off-color until I joined into the hilarity around here. I just thought it meant not functioning normally. But I see from online sources that it can also mean: "Deviating from the norms of social behavior in a way regarded as bad." I don't think I'd ever heard it used that way before Crossword Corner.

Pat said...

A man walks in on his wife and another man in bed.

What are you doing?! says the husband

The wife tells lover ,I told you he was stupid

Lonesome Me said...

PK, I thought the use of that word would get attention from the boys, and they responded on cue.

desper-otto, I'm glad you IDed your perpetrator.

Bill G., DF was coined by Dennis many years ago to signify something DisFunctional (but you probably knew that). There's several terms that are unique to this blog. It's one of the charming facets of the corner and the reason I've been lurking here for so long.